Poor Man About Town

Much of London's architecture is being flattened by greedy property developers - the purpose being is to make way for luxury apartments. London, as a consequence, is fast losing its ambience and atmosphere. I was saddened by the news that a property developer has got hold of Kensington Odeon, the plan being to replace it with a stunning new development of luxury apartments with a basement cinema. Tessa Jowell, Culcher and Supercasino Secretary, has given the go-ahead.

Having said that, Michael Winner has declared that he will support the petition against the development.

Labels: Greedy Property Developers, tessa jowell

I was coming out of the supermarket yesterday afternoon. From out of nowhere - literally out of nowhere - this guy popped up and asked me for money for his busfare. I was a little surprised, he struck me like one of those zombies from The Night of the Living Dead. He said that he needed four pounds. I told him that I did not have it. For fear of my internal organs, I reached in my pocket, ah relief, brown coins - 12p. Then he turned on a couple of African gentlemen who appeared to rather irritated by him "Hello uncle" he said creepily "do you have money for my busfare". The response was icy "I'm skint". The beggar insisted and the response was equal against the insistence "I'm skint". I felt like such an idiot, I could have done that, but I was on my own, the guy looked hungry and he had that look that he would dine on my intestines if I did not give him some kind of donation.

Labels: Beggars, Begging

Nice weather today, so nice - I decided to go to the countryside for a long walk with my daughter. Sadly publications such as this:





inspire thousands of monied twelve year olds to converge in the same part.

What impresses me about them is their need to get out their hiking clobber that they have bought from shops such this





It provides them with that opportunity to pose with their hiking boots, designer rucksacks, shorts, hiking sticks, Ordnance Survey Maps in one of those plastic wallets that come complete with a compass. You'd think that they are hiking across The Swiss Alps rather than the Kent countryside. All you need is a decent pair of shoes or trainers. For these shallow individuals, however, they have to look the blasted part of a serious hiker or rambler.

Then you get these bozos with their four wheel drive vehicles with tracker bikes attached to the back. It's almost like a Nazi invasion of the countryside. I love walking in the countryside, I have been doing it for years, - but thanks to Time Out and trendy outdoor shops, it is becoming increasingly spoilt. It seems that walks in the countryside with all the trendy clobber is de-rigeur for these extremely irritating individuals who feel this need to show off their spoils on a footpath as if it were a catwalk in Paris.

Labels: countryside, fashion, Lifestyle, trendy

If LBC is not careful, it will lose numerous listeners because of the plethora of horrible ads currently being broadcast by the station. These include our ever favourite property developer Galliard Homes; Churchill Insurance; O2; M & S; Lloyds TSB. Whenever these ads come on, I scream "fuck off" at the radio and switch stations. I know that the station has to earn bread but they have to balance the frequency of broadcast of these horrid specimens of commercial art and the needs of the needs of the listeners.

Labels: commercials, LBC, Radio

It is quite ironic that an artist who paints some quite radical graffiti, among which is called is Cheque Book Vandalism, is selling his art to the greedy people whom he lampoons extremely well. Well I guess he has to earn the money to produce the art that cannot be sold in art galleries. I remember Transport for London is not very happy with him defacing its property.

Labels: art, art market, Banksy, capitalism, politics

I have been following the French Presidential Elections with some interest. I have found myself baulking at the idea of Sarkozy - if he wins he will feed the French an extremely anally retentive economic philosophy like a french farmer feeds a goose to make foie gras. Crap really, it is a nasty economic philosophy that favours the bloated rich and starves the poor. Steve Bell's cartoon in today's Guardian sums up my feelings.



Note Sarkozy dressed up as Thatcher, I think that's quite neat.

Labels: neocons, Sarkozy, Thatcher, the French elections

Here in London, along with the localistas, the M & S brigade etc is Beer Can Man. I first encountered Beer Can Man sitting on one of the outside tables of this closed bistro in the King's Road around ten years ago. He was looking quite pissed and had a can a Tenent's Super Lager on the table. Bistro and Beer Can Man appeared to suit each other, they had a comical ambience. I was to make quite a few more encounters with these street drunks, one remarkable episode comes to mind; in Waterloo, I saw two drunks each holding a can of strong lager while wrestling each other. I was amazed at how they could they could grapple with each other without either spilling any beer. Now, I live among them, they are all over the place - sucking, like babies from the bottle, on cans of extra strong juice. They haven't really caused me any problem but I feel that the potential is there.

Labels: beer, drunks, street drinking

I am becoming increasingly pissed off with people who use mobile phones on public transport. You have a hard day at work, you're on the bus - looking at the world moving outside, your mind gets reset to 0 and you just be and absorb, passive and peaceful. Then you hear this dreadful ring tone that provokes an old ache in one of your teeth - your mind reaches for annoyance mode and then resignation - chit-chat and verbal bollocks. Sometimes intimate information. Tonight, I wanted to buy a mobile phone signal zapper - so I did a search on the web but could not find one, but came accross this article by the BBC. According to this article the instrument is only available in the far east - they'd make a packet selling them here.

Labels: mobile phones, signal zapper

Although I do not agree with The Daily Mail's politics it does come up with some interesting stuff.

I find it quite worrying that these energy inspectors will not have their records checked, they are completely unregulated. So the chances of an axe murderer, burglar*, paedophile, drug dealer etc entering your home have been increased. When the whole things blows, ie: The Press will respond in its usual trumpeting elephant manner - Energy Inspector is a Paedophile type headlines. The Government will clamp down so hard that no one will not be able to get for about four or five years because one has to be thoroughly checked from one's great grandmother to current siblings. This brings me on to another point, there is much potential for cowboy companies to set up shop. This is merely a licence to print money - not really about one's home saving energy - it's a money-spinning gimmick devised by those are close to New Labour and the Tories. It's bollocks!



Click this link to read the article


This Housing Pack business is just another wheeze to allow private companies to sponge more money off the public.

* A burglar will be able to establish when you are out when he arranges the date of his visit to you.

Labels: Cowboys, crime, Criminality, Energy Inspectors, Housing

More and more public land and property is literally being shovelled at Greedy Property Developers. My guess is that we will be having to pay a toll to walk through certain sectors of our city. This video about Hornsey Hospital sums up my sentiments entirely

Labels: affordable, development, Greedy Property Developers, homes for sale, house development, luxury, new houses, new property, PFI, privatisation, Property Developers, public, uk

I was subject to a new begging ploy today.

This bloke stopped me in the street brandishing five 10p coins in his hand and asked me whether I had 50p; I checked my pockets, found a 50p coin and was waiting for him to make the exchange. I checked that was what he wanted to change and he replied that "I was asking for 50p extra!". I told him that I needed this for my shopping which is true and walked away. This really pissed me off because there have been many occasions when I have asked to change coins and this can only lead to people being less co-operative.

Labels: Beggars, Begging, London

I was saddened by the news that Kurt has now gone off to Tralfamadore

I remember Slaughterhouse 5 was the first book I read in full - from then, there was no stopping me. I devoured every book that attracted my attention. I owe a bid debt to Kurt for getting me reading. I loved The Sirens of Titan, Cat's Cradle and Breakfast of Champions
.

I thought I should pay a tribute to him here, bye Kurt.

Labels: books, Kurt Vonnegut, literature, science fiction

I caught up with the news that David Miliband "will not be seduced" into the "New Labour" leadership campaign. He was in fairly safe territory - GMTV - Breakfast Television - no supplementary questions etc. It is worthy of note that he has no erudition and resorts to using a copy and paste style of writing and speaking, note "will not be seduced" and "neither a runner nor rider". As for his image, it really did leave a lot to be desired. He brings to mind a double glazing salesman, a financial services advisor, a suit, a canvasser for The Conservative Party, a whole panoply of things negative. He has that look of a desperate X-factor entrant, believing himself to be talented, but having no talent at all and being quite embarrassing with it.

Labels: David Miliband, GMTV, interview, politics, the Labour Leadership

My favourite grumpy old git, Ed Reardon, is back on Listen Again; I have heard the episode two or three times before and I never tire of it. If you like grumpy old men - Ed's your man

Labels: Ed Reardon, grumpy old men, Radio

This episode regarding the fifteen British Sailors has brought home to me one startling and enlightening point.

THERE IS A GROSS LACK OF SOPHISTICATION IN BRITAIN'S POLITICIANS - yep, they have dumbed down themselves to celebrity status. They have shaped themselves to suit the media and tabloids by becoming flesh made into television trash.

Rather than taking the usual line of debriefing the Sailors and making their complaints and concerns about their treatment through the usual diplomatic channels, the government allowed the media circus to be turned loose on them, cheque books in hand. Because of this, it would seem that people are doubting the veracity of the sailors' statements about their treatment because it has become tainted. Why, Blair wanted to score some propaganda points on the Iranians. He was clearly not following the reliable strategic dictum keeping your friends close but your enemies closer. Somebody on Nick Ferrari's show today pointed out that if further military personnel were captured by Iran, the climate could well compromise them.

Gordon Brown has done a splendid in buggering up pensions. How he lives this down will require a fair degree of sophistication and wit.

Then we have possible contenders for the leadership.

John (Dr) whizz-bang Reid who is delivering on crime with an arsenal of gizmos, gadgets and toys.

David Miliband - gosh! this man is completely incapable of writing and speaking plain English. For some reason, he has become the darling of the press and media and has a nasty tendency of attracting a swarm of them as if he were Britney Spears slashing her wrists in Trafalgar Square.

Now, let's come to the Tories

David Cameron, Charlie Brooker has pointed out that this man has very little history prior to him entering Parliament. We have snippets, alleged dope smoking when aged sixteen. A photo of him as member of "The Smash it Up - Bullingdon Club". The gap between him leaving College and entering Parliament, as Brooker points out, is all too obvious. There is not enough substantive information on him.

He demonstrates his gross lack of sophistication by

a) Eco-conscious, he cycles to work with his gas guzzling four wheel drive vehicle in tow.

b) He has set up that extremely silly web cam to show that he is a family man at heart. Surely, politicians resign because they want to spend more time with their families.

c) He and his party vote with New Labour on policy contentious to New Labour's backbench.

He's not making a very good as leader either, I remember in times past - opposition leaders would make attempts at occupying the higher ground by going to press and commenting on how the government has fucked up - they would issue statements and even be interviewed TV news programmes, but like Blair his unsophisticated counterpart, Cameron lacks the sophistication to directly face the press.

As for his shadow chancellor, George Osborn, he is certainly a shadowy figure, recently outed by the Daily Mail as a Bullingdon Club member. We know that he has the credo of Britain being a classless society. In looking at his background, he does not seem to have any tact or diplomacy, he was brought to task by the National Autistic Society, Gordon Brown and the Speaker of the House. No sophistication whatsoever, comes accross as bombastic and unsubtle.

The Liberal Party

I bet most Liberals are regretting their election of Ming "the Merciless. Need I say more?

As for David Cameron, George Osborne and David Cameron, they are all of the same age of twelve years. Look at this cosy fireside chat between Cameron and Miliband





So there you have it, British politics smells funny like not quite off milk, its politicians are uncouth, inept and unrefined - don't we deserve better than our current shower?

Vote for a hung Parliament!

Labels: British Politics, David Cameron, David Miliband, George Osborne, inept, John Reid, uncouth, unsubtle

...so I have taken to surfing Youtube. Here, you can search for anything you like. I came across this little video gem - it's one of those moments in amateur cinematography that produces a classic. The attempt at vandalism is serious, but watch on...

Labels: chav, crime, idiot vandal, uk, vandalism, vandals, youth

I see that the Daily Mail has outed George Osborne, Shadow Chancellor, as a former member of the Bullingdon Club. This kid may come across as all "sweetness and light", cuddly Tory, along with all that classless society shit but shares a rather exotic past along with his leader.

I checked the Wikipedia on the club's antics and it would seem that the Club indulges in boozing and mashing up the restaurants in which they eat (they are rich enough to pay for the damage).

Other fabulous antics can be found in this article from The Oxford Student.

It is one of life's rich ironies that while I am writing this, there is small group of winos outside the house, they are boozing but they are relatively quiet with it.

Labels: Bullingdon Club, Conservative, politics, tory, vandals

I am sure that there is a comedy mole in the Home Office. Look at David Blunkett's tenure in the Home Office - using government stationery for personal reasons - what man in his right mind would use work stationery to further one's interests? Charles Clarke not coping with the Tsumani of Paedophiles and Asylum Seekers. Gosh! The job of England's Football Team manager makes the Home Secretary's job look like a broom cupboard job on Tahiti.

Now we have Dr Reid who promised to get things done and implied incompetence of his predecessors. He blustered his way into the office, sleeves of his shirt rolled up, swearing the fuck out of the place and assured all and sundry that the Home Office was due for big changes. Then he buggered off on holiday!.

Dr Reid has now become the subject of two classic comedy gags - phoning up failed asylum seekers on their mobiles and telling that their time is up and they should fuck off out of it or else.

Then we have the talky CCTV camera to point out to wrong doers that they have been clocked

"Hey drug dealer, stop your nonsense otherwise we'll nick you," strip you down and dress you up in Hazel Blears Merchandise. You'll lose all your street cred and won't be able to sell drugs on these streets again"

"Hey piss artist, stop annoying passers by otherwise we will subject you David Miliband videos during your hangover"

"Dogowner, how dare you allow your dog to shit on the pavement. We'll come and rub your nose in it"

"Hey Asylum Seeker, what is your mobille number, so we can ring you and tell you to fuck off"

I am sure these ideas have been generated by a twelve year old whizz kid or a budding sketch writer. There is, however, plenty of material for Bremner, Bird and Fortune.

Labels: Bremner Bird and Fortune, CCTV, comedy, gags, Home Office, political, politics, sketches, speaking CCTV

A callv centre called me tonight; the operative told me that she was from Supreme Home Solutions and that she wanted to ask me one question - this been "How would like to improve your home"; she might as well have asked me "How would you like to improve your spaceship?". I told her that I can't improve my home as I privately rent it.

I did not want to be rude or abusive to the call centre operative, they have a living to earn and they are only human at the end of the day. I remember reading an article where an operative becomes so worn down by the abuse of recipients of unsolicited calls that it can affect his self-esteem.

It is quite odd, however, that the commercial consciousness has become so geared that virtually all the market is dominated by home owners. People who rent, it seems, are a pariah, lepers, who can spread the dreaded disease of being poor.

Labels: call centre, home owners, market, pariah, poor, poverty, private rented, rent, unsolicited calls

I am having fun with British Gas - they need to come and do a gas safety check on my meter. I had arranged one earlier this year, the meter reader failed to turn up. I spent an entire morning off work. It's happened again. In the old days, British Gas used to have their own people come and read your meter, now they outsource the work to a company, I believe, called Accuread. I dread when work gets outsourced it always leads to shoddy service and consequent inconvenience. I have lost two days annual leave waiting for British Gas to read my meter.

If the meter does not get read, they say in the note they will apply to a court to bust down my door to read the meter - that's fucking marvellous isn't it - here I am doing my best for them and I subject to a threat like that.

I contact British Gas, the usual keypad ritual "press 1 if you want to give a reading...press 2 if you want to enquire about your account...press 3 to fuck off!". The taped voice then asks me to key in my phone number; I get a little rebellious at this point and ignore the two requests to do so, I just pretend I don't have a phone, chuckle, and they may get convinced I don't have a phone - that's how warped my logic became at this point. Then I was put on fifteen minute wait with that dreadful Coldplay music that is piped in B & Q and Sainsbury's - this was interspersed with advertisments about gas leaks and gas safety. It was an excruciating 1/4 of an hour.

I finally managed to get through - I was feeling quite vexed by this point, I was feeling provoked by the long wait, by the Coldplay and the cheerful gas leak ads. I was ready to launch into one on the call centre operative, but thought "oh shit...these poor people must have to put up with this kind of shit throughout the day...try be helpful" I got a new date and an assurance that the meter reader will come; I did not, however, get a job number, the computer says "no".

Oh fuck it, I wonder if British Gas will go the same way as Enron

Labels: Corporations, Grumble, Lifestyle, Manners

What is it about the BBC - not content with making BBC1 its own trash channel (and that includes the News)as well as a large part of BBC2 also showing crappy programmes, it has done some navel gazing and believes that it is far too high brow. A review has been ordered by the Director-General, Mark Thompson. What this means is that a large sum of money is going to be spent on researching something of which we will already know the outcome anyway - more trash on BBC!

Labels: BBC, dumbing down, media, review, Television, trash