Poor Man About Town

I went to a one of those large diy stores today - you know the sort, so big that it manages to liquidate any hardware shop within mile of vicinity. I only wanted one small thing - a lamp socket, did I find one? No I did not. No matter how many times I go to one of these places, I never seem to find what I am looking for. The staff are never helpful and it is very difficult to leave the place without buying anything; one has to negotiate one's way through the checkouts usually blocked by a queue of people buying bricks, cement mixers or any oversized object that would fit neatly into a small back garden. In addition to these miserable places, they seem to play miserable piped music - the droning of Coldplay, David Gray or James Blunt comes loud and clear over the speakers. These places are a complete nightmare. The biggest irony is that these places attract bozos like flies to a piece of shit during a bank holiday. They block up the traffic in order to stock up on diy goodies which way only find their to a car boot sale anyway. What on earth possesses these idiots to indulge in this quite destructive pastime?