Sunday, January 06, 2008
Table Manners
I can be quite liberal when it comes to table manners. Greg Proops asked who, in private, scoops ice cream into a bowl?. I don't consider myself a prude when it comes to sex; but when the table and sex come together you have a choice - either you eat from it or you shag on it, of course some people use food as a sex aid. That's their business.
When I go into a restaurant, however, I expect a fair degree of decorum from my fellow diners - of course, this respect is reciprocated. This was not the case when I went into a Chinese Restaurant in Central London today. There was a couple in their late teens but fitted the twelve year old bill. The male of the couple was sporting a baseball cap under its peak was hanging that rather irritating lopsided fringe favoured by twelve year male old pop stars. The female was a blonde bimbo.
They pawed at each other like two dogs on heat, they exchanged bodily fluids by long wet kisses; all of this done in the middle of a restaurant where people were trying toeat. This activity was really getting on my nerves. Worse was yet to come, the lopsided fringe male had his meal to brought to him; he stopped eating mid-way, pawed at his girlfriend and wet-kissed. Bloody hell, I did not need to witness a mating while eating.
It would be a really good idea for the government to introduce legislation stopping people under the age of 25 entering restaurants unless they are accompanied by a forty year old.
When I go into a restaurant, however, I expect a fair degree of decorum from my fellow diners - of course, this respect is reciprocated. This was not the case when I went into a Chinese Restaurant in Central London today. There was a couple in their late teens but fitted the twelve year old bill. The male of the couple was sporting a baseball cap under its peak was hanging that rather irritating lopsided fringe favoured by twelve year male old pop stars. The female was a blonde bimbo.
They pawed at each other like two dogs on heat, they exchanged bodily fluids by long wet kisses; all of this done in the middle of a restaurant where people were trying toeat. This activity was really getting on my nerves. Worse was yet to come, the lopsided fringe male had his meal to brought to him; he stopped eating mid-way, pawed at his girlfriend and wet-kissed. Bloody hell, I did not need to witness a mating while eating.
It would be a really good idea for the government to introduce legislation stopping people under the age of 25 entering restaurants unless they are accompanied by a forty year old.
Labels: eating, Food, Manners, snogging, teenagers, twelve year olds, youth
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Poverty
Don't you just hate Rick Stein? - he has this uncanny knack of making food prices rocket. He smugly introduces to notions of rustic poverty with statements akin to this is what poor (pore) people eat - all he has to say is "the pore eat swedes and they are delicious" that the price of swedes zooms up from 15p to £150. He is the Alan Greenspan of food prices. All he has to do is mention a food product and he has all these rich fucks hunting it down and making it completely unaffordable. I guess that Stein could even do that with a tin of spam. Stein is one of those individuals who is ponsifying food and I find him extremely annoying.
Labels: celebrity, Food, Lifestyle, the rich
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
How to make Mexican Tortillas
Having to return to short of money circumstances, I am returning to a student diet. The diet would be very boring and bland - so I would try to jazz things up a bit by exploring cheapo foods from around the world. I would make lentil and veg curries and complement them with home made chapati - baked from a pan bought from my local Indian store. The flour was cheap and the chapati was easy to make.
I would get a bit fed up with Indian food and diverted my attention to Mexican. I would go to my local library to check out recipes that would be within my crappy credit rating. I checked out Mexican food on various occasions, some of the recipes looked impossible as the ingredients were not available - such as chipotle chilis, maiza harina. There was one recipe that attracted my attention - Mexican Tortillas - for this , you needed Maiza Harina. Did not have that, so I bought some corn meal - the corn meal would not turn into a dough. It got binned. Resorted to Maize meal, that was a close resemblance - this went the same way as the corn meal.
I gave this some further thought - I bought some corn meal again and after a few experiments - I found the only way of making decent tortillas this side of the Atlantic. It goes like this - soak the Maize meal in water, I prefer corn, for around twenty four hours - this softens the meal. Drain off the water, as much you can - the technique is a little panning for gold - edging the water out, leaving the meal in bowl. Start adding gradually adding chapati flour, kneading as you go along - when the dough starts to become elastic and pliant, stop adding more flour and knead the meal with flour. Leave it to stand for around 15 minutes - let it brew; then knead again, you may need to add more flour at this stage as the dough can get rather sticky. Make little dough balls and then flatten them out into tortillas with a rolling pin. Put them to bake on the chapati pan - let them puff out, turn over to cook the other side and lo, you have an approximation of a Mexican tortilla.
I've had tortillas in Mexico, nothing like the above - but at least you have a flat bread made with corn or maize.
Come to think of it, authentic Mexican food really does my guts in - it's powerful and very pungent. The nearest culinary style I can think of is southern Indian food - this cookery is very powerful and takes no prisoners, but prepare yourself for a remarkable meal
I would get a bit fed up with Indian food and diverted my attention to Mexican. I would go to my local library to check out recipes that would be within my crappy credit rating. I checked out Mexican food on various occasions, some of the recipes looked impossible as the ingredients were not available - such as chipotle chilis, maiza harina. There was one recipe that attracted my attention - Mexican Tortillas - for this , you needed Maiza Harina. Did not have that, so I bought some corn meal - the corn meal would not turn into a dough. It got binned. Resorted to Maize meal, that was a close resemblance - this went the same way as the corn meal.
I gave this some further thought - I bought some corn meal again and after a few experiments - I found the only way of making decent tortillas this side of the Atlantic. It goes like this - soak the Maize meal in water, I prefer corn, for around twenty four hours - this softens the meal. Drain off the water, as much you can - the technique is a little panning for gold - edging the water out, leaving the meal in bowl. Start adding gradually adding chapati flour, kneading as you go along - when the dough starts to become elastic and pliant, stop adding more flour and knead the meal with flour. Leave it to stand for around 15 minutes - let it brew; then knead again, you may need to add more flour at this stage as the dough can get rather sticky. Make little dough balls and then flatten them out into tortillas with a rolling pin. Put them to bake on the chapati pan - let them puff out, turn over to cook the other side and lo, you have an approximation of a Mexican tortilla.
I've had tortillas in Mexico, nothing like the above - but at least you have a flat bread made with corn or maize.
Come to think of it, authentic Mexican food really does my guts in - it's powerful and very pungent. The nearest culinary style I can think of is southern Indian food - this cookery is very powerful and takes no prisoners, but prepare yourself for a remarkable meal
Labels: cookery, Food, mexican, tortilllas
Friday, March 23, 2007
Be Kind to the Snail
While surfing the internet tonight, I found the above article on the Telegraph's web site. I found it quite funny as well as nicely written.
Labels: Food
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Pork Pies and Frascati
Now get this, I was in Camberwell today. Nipped into Kennedy's - the only indigenous non-ponsified cured meats shop in the land. Kennedy's has an awful lot of history in South East London, they are renowned for their cured meat and pies - meat, fruit and otherwise. Yep, you can go up to these ponsified markets such as the Borough market and buy into the ponsification; but Kennedy's remains true to its customers - 70+ years old. No one younger dares ventures in there. Maybe its the oldy-worldy design of the place along with its ageing clientelle. There are loads of monied idiots who like to shop in Borough Market for this kind of oldy-worldy cockney stuff; Kennedy's is not a place in which one can be seen dead.
What you get in Kennedy's, however, is some quite remarkable food. This is indigenous charcuterie where the bacon is at Knightsbridge prices, trust me, this is true - I paid two quid for four rashers, what I got, however, was lightly cured meat without any water - it was so good, it could be eaten as Parma Ham.
I bought three pork pies - none of the pink gunk that one finds in the manufactured stuff - it was all virtually grey lean meat. I bought a bottle of Frascati to see if it would complement the flavour and wow the wine and the filling just fused really nicely together.
Great stuff.
Fuck off Borough Market, preserve what is old and valuable.
What you get in Kennedy's, however, is some quite remarkable food. This is indigenous charcuterie where the bacon is at Knightsbridge prices, trust me, this is true - I paid two quid for four rashers, what I got, however, was lightly cured meat without any water - it was so good, it could be eaten as Parma Ham.
I bought three pork pies - none of the pink gunk that one finds in the manufactured stuff - it was all virtually grey lean meat. I bought a bottle of Frascati to see if it would complement the flavour and wow the wine and the filling just fused really nicely together.
Great stuff.
Fuck off Borough Market, preserve what is old and valuable.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Let's Talk Turkey
I have given up eating poultry that is not free-range. I find all this factory farmed business sickening. I just cannot eat a chicken let alone a turkey. The way these poor birds are kept really does upset me. I guess many people do not share my qualms and will regularly hit the chicken tikka masala, kfc, turkey joints, turkey slices. I am pleased that this bird flu business is bringing home the point that animals are not for the factory - disease can spread like wildfire through such places. Let this be a lesson to all factory farmers.
Labels: Food
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Stefan Gates Does it Again!
Cooking in the danger zone.
Stefan took us to Chernobyl in the Ukraine; he entered the exclusion zone. Despite high levels of radio activity, the flora and fauna seems to be flourishing. The high levels of radiation did not deter people from living in the zone. There was an old man on a bicycle with an axe on board, ready for one of the wild boars that he intends to take home for him. Why Stefan asked him whether he eats the boars that he kills, the old man replied "why not!" giving a thumbs up. He then met Anna, a fiesty old lady, who cooked him and et al borscht, potato and noodle soup. The entire crew were treated to this lunch, the driver downed a raw egg straight from the shell. In spite of the prohibition not to eat anything, Stefan ate the soup and downed a glass of home made plum brandy. Stefan asked the old lady why she returned to her land after evacuation, she said that she lived in a place where the earth was black and that your feet would sink in the mud - she could not grow anything.
Stefan's humanity and easygoingness is a shining example of attitude who is around twenty years my junior. I liked this programme, I liked the attitude. I liked the people whom he encountered, they seemed to be like those rustic characters that one finds in Tolstoy's books.
Great stuff.
Stefan took us to Chernobyl in the Ukraine; he entered the exclusion zone. Despite high levels of radio activity, the flora and fauna seems to be flourishing. The high levels of radiation did not deter people from living in the zone. There was an old man on a bicycle with an axe on board, ready for one of the wild boars that he intends to take home for him. Why Stefan asked him whether he eats the boars that he kills, the old man replied "why not!" giving a thumbs up. He then met Anna, a fiesty old lady, who cooked him and et al borscht, potato and noodle soup. The entire crew were treated to this lunch, the driver downed a raw egg straight from the shell. In spite of the prohibition not to eat anything, Stefan ate the soup and downed a glass of home made plum brandy. Stefan asked the old lady why she returned to her land after evacuation, she said that she lived in a place where the earth was black and that your feet would sink in the mud - she could not grow anything.
Stefan's humanity and easygoingness is a shining example of attitude who is around twenty years my junior. I liked this programme, I liked the attitude. I liked the people whom he encountered, they seemed to be like those rustic characters that one finds in Tolstoy's books.
Great stuff.
Labels: Food
