Poor Man About Town

Rebrranding of Notes from a Bedsit Room

2011-12-23T23:05:00.003Z

This blog was previously called "Notes from a Bedsit Room". I have decided to change it. I am no longer living in a bedsit, but at some point I could be. Now, I'm impoverished, but mooching around town. Eating in cheapo but interesting restaurants. Politics, still left-wing. Business as usual.

Kelvin McKenzie on Any Questions

2009-06-19T20:45:00.004+01:00

What is about Kelvin McKenzie, he does not lend himself to the radio or television very well. My refrigerator could articulate much better than him. He has an over-valued idea of himself and all the media organs follow suit. Why is the licence fees paid on these rather talentless individuals.

Kelvin appeared on Any Questions tonight. He was crap. He had nothing original to say - he was parrotting the Richard Littlejohn line!

For all his right-wing faults, Littlejohn comes accross as McKenzie's intellectual superior and someone who is quite able to use the press, tv and radio extremely well. So why are we paying for the likes of McKenzie to appear on Radio.

Kulture

2009-03-06T23:31:00.003Z

The New Model Middle Class are really pissing me off. They are remarkable by their lack of consideration for anyone.

I went to the National Film Theatre tonight to collect some programmes. The place was full of suits, boozing away and getting pissed - they were clearly not going to see a film. Then there was this twelve year old shithead, who occupied nine cubic metres of space around the space where the leaflets were stored. He had a Brompton Bike, two metres behind (I should have nicked it) along with bags of this of that, he had a lap top plugged into the wall. He was logged into one of those fucking networking sites, why he could not be arsed to visit them defeats me. Anyway, I reached over and collected the leaflets and was confronted with a really Hitlerian look, I had invaded this little shit's lebensraum. I felt like telling him "oh fuck off, you little shit...you're not here to watch a film"

Then as I was making an exit for the door, one of the boozing suits produced this pink monster from inside his suit - it was a fucking baby! The group started with which he was boozing started to coo like those pigeons one hears from the crevices of filthy buildings. I felt like screaming "fuck off"

Damien Hirst - Bling Bling Bollocks

2008-12-27T22:00:00.004Z

The remarkable thing about Damien Hirst's art is the fact that it attracted a lot of toxic money. It was the money that bought houses at grossly inflated prices which disguised their true value. Hirst's art rode on the back of this - people had loads of toxic money to spend on.............crap! And Hirst was a willing supplier. How could a sheep in alcohol be aesthetically pleasing? How can a skull encrusted with loads of diamonds be termed art, the skull should be on the dashboard of a drug-dealer's car. Yet, I was listening to BBC Radio 4 Saturday Review - and here we had the reviewers falling over themselves not to criticise the crap that Hirst produces but to say that they attended an auction where it went on sale. One reviewer commented that one woman thought "oh that's only 15 grand, can I afford that?" She went on to comment on how democratic his art is! Why all this fawning crap, why doesn't someone come out and say his art is shit! If I had 15 grand, I could have 15 decent holidays, there is no way I would even buy Damien Hirst's bollocks even if they were displayed in a glass case and preserved in formaldehyde

Grand Designs - Grand Bullshit

2008-12-22T19:46:00.004Z

I was feeling bored yesterday night, I was bored and I had morbid curiosity and tuned into that rather dreadful house makeover show with that balding git with sideburns who oozes and gushes his way through each episode. The programme started with the balding git ski-ing around with gay abandon - showing us how superior he is to us poor gits. This episode focussed on an old dilapidated farmhouse in the French Alps. We learn that this couple had a shed load of money to spend on a fucking shed! £750 000 in actual fact. The woman is an interior designer, these people charge you mucho dinero to tell you the type of wallpaper you should buy and how your bog should look to visitors - I guess that this is how she earns shed loads of money. She wanted to redesign the shed to keep its rustic appearance and original timberwork but wanted all the modern fixture and fittings to go with it. Now here is something absolutely hilarious, she wanted eight bedrooms and eight bathrooms, but all I could see of family were one husband and two small sprogs. The bedroom windows would be at ground level offering the nice view when lying on bed, but when standing one would have to be less than one metre high to appreciate said view - the woman is an interior designer, remember! The next most hilarious point is that the house is built without foundations on the side of a fairly steep hill; what kind of insurance company is going to touch a liability like that. I was getting increasingly annoyed watching this crap and shouted "fuck off" at the television and switched channels. To think Channel 4 want part of my licence fee to produce this programme with its narcissistic participants, I am minded to stop watching tv all together.

Any Questions - A Deep Political Chasm

2008-11-15T21:09:00.005Z

I was listening to BBC Radio 4's Any Questions today. John Redwood was the main star. His manner and presentation strikes me as akin to a Victorian undertaker, I get the feeling that if you were in his presence, you would smell fresh cadavers and embalming fluid, not the sort of person who would be invited to a dinner party in East Dulwich. He was pitted against twelve year old Rosie Winterton, New Labour Minister for Pensions. What struck me was the amount of New Labour bullshit and rhetoric which was coming out of Rosie Winterton's mouth and the rather locquacious and well-informed stuff that was coming out of Mr Redwood. I don't like Mr Redwood's politics, but his ability to express them far outweighed that of Ms Winterton, who just seemed to be reading off a New Labour idiot card. I knew it all along, Ms Winterton is a Blair implant, a career politician and will just spout off a script. What this programme laid bare was the deep chasm that exists between the old school politician and that the rather trashy new school, who really can't express themselves properly. Redwood, for his party, is worth the money. Winterton, for New Labour and her sponsorship, well that's open to debate.

NB I wonder if Rosie is related, by any chance, to Nicholas

The Sun Petition - Sharon Shoesmith

2008-11-15T17:28:00.007Z

It seems that The Sun Newspaper would like to see this scenario created around the home of Haringey's Director of Children and Young People, Sharon Shoesmith with regard to her handling of the "Baby P" case.

I was listening to BBC Radio 4's PM, and heard an extremely sanctimonious, self-righteous and pompous Political Editor from The Sun shovel us some hot bullshit about he and The Sun were not causing a witch hunt (I bet his smouldering knickers were singeing the hair of his bollocks when he said that!) but that the paper wanted to hunt down those responsible for the death of Baby P. I guess that if those responsible are burnt at the stake for their negligence, we would get this response: IT'S THE SUN WHAT DONE IT!

All this is mere cynical sensationalism in an attempt to colonise the memory of an abused and innocent child to flog copy. As if this paper cares about anyone at all, let alone a child. This campaign strikes me as somewhat crass.

What the heck has happened to LBC?

2008-09-26T19:01:00.003+01:00

It's been a long time since I have tuned into LBC, it was becoming increasingly unlistenable - drivel and earwax give tremendous earaches. Time was there were fairly good broadcasters on board, now they all seem to be refugees from the tabloid press, whose skills are broadcasting can be likened to a chimpanzees with typewriters. I guess that the content is dictated in a similar vein. It's now become complete tabloid trash. I shan't be tuning into LBC ever again.

Home, Body, Arse and Soul

2008-09-18T21:40:00.002+01:00

Yep, you've guessed it, the banks will no longer accept these as security on a mortgage. The current meltdown in the stock markets and major financial institutions heading down the Thames estuary have put paid to such silly notions. Ah, but banks would lend out billions to people who wanted their basic human need of shelter satisfied.

So what happened?

Banks and finance institutions wanted more, there was no stopping the greed - they formed a cartel along with estate agents and property developers to hyper inflate the cost of accommodation. These buggers literally made homes unaffordable; who steps in to help out the people in need of shelter, the banks - doling out loans that well beyond the means of most repaying. In effect, they created credit and by so doing printed money. In return for these exorbitant / wage slave loans, the banks wanted your home, body, arse and soul. Now, you must bear in mind that fingers were crossed behind their backs. The housing market boomed, houses and homes turned to property. The market became even more predatory, houses and flat were no longer been sold as homes but buy to let properties = the free market became oh so fuck off.

Something had to give, in the US people were having to do two to three jobs to keep up with the payments - most borrowers must have thought "fuck this, I can't cope...I'm off to live with the cockroaches" Bingo, all of a sudden the sub-prime market was coined, nasty wretches who did not honour their debts. No mention that most of these nasty wretches had sold themselves into wage slavery for their rest of their lives. One thing led to another. The home, body, arse and soul securities no longer had any value, there was no gold standard; the money that the banks had printed had become as useless as the Reichsmark in mid-twenties Weimar Germany.

The rest is history.

The Year so Far - take two

2008-09-16T23:22:00.004+01:00

After agonising over this and after receiving two encouraging posts to my previous comment, I have decided that Bedsit should continue. In addition to this, the hits, although modest are no longer bedsit specific. I must make some notes of things which I find irksome in my day to day life.

In the meantime, however, here are some quite funny diversions.

I just love the bear's expressions

and Crystal Tips and Alistair - beautifully drawn animation but very funny movements in the joints

The Year So Far...

2008-08-31T21:45:00.004+01:00

Well, here is another entry at the end of August 2008, I could have made numerous entries since February, but I just could not be arsed. The hits to the blog were mainly Bedsit specific rather than anything relating to my rants and ramblings. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that blogs may be a waste of time. Maybe I should print out my favourite entries and close down the blog; after all it is merely an extension of my dissatisfied ego. Moaning, groaning and grumbling is not going to get my anywhere. I note that when writing this kind of shit, I get increasingly agitated as I let things play on my mind. Yep, I giving notice, I am shall be busy reviewing the blog, taking the things that I liked and closing the whole bastard thing down!

Credit Crunchies

2008-02-02T19:27:00.000Z

I have been experiencing the Credit Crunchies, basically skint, the symptoms are your cash machine card drying up on you; when you phone the bank you are put through to a call centre to somewhere in the South China Seas (basically your bank sees and treats you as a piece of shit); juggling around with credit cards etc.

I am not alone in having the Credit Crunchies, according to Egg, there are a 160 000 customers like me. It seems that these people spend beyond their credit limits and do not pay their minimum monthly charge. So it's fuck off to them!

Beer Can Man on the Bus

2008-01-28T16:30:00.000Z

I was using the bus yesterday. Some man in his late fifties boarded the bus, he came and sat down in the seat opposite. He was wearing a cardigan cum winter coat - it looked like it was made out of bath rug. I did not pay him much mind until from out of nowhere he produced a tin of strong lager from which he was gulping down. He concealed the tin, opened, into a pocket in his bath rug jacket. These guys are ingenious in smuggling opened beer tins onto the bus.

David Miliband - BBC Radio 4 News Quiz

2008-01-22T21:21:00.000Z

I was listening to the News Quiz on Radio 4 and heard Sandi Toksvig say:

"I still can not get used to David Miliband being foreign secretary. Do you not get the sort of feeling that his parents took him into Parliament for a sort bring your child to work day and forgot to take him home and now he's got a job"

Funny you should say that, Sandi

No Telly

2008-01-17T20:08:00.000Z

Sod's law, I spend a shed load of money on a tv licence only to have the tv go on the blink! I bet any money that if I did not have to get a tv licence it would be working now. I guess that my tv did not like the idea of going legit and so rebelled. The telly is old and appears beyond, I guess that I am going to have to get one of those cheapy tellies.

The Poverty Trap -

2008-01-17T19:46:00.000Z

I had only two quid left, I had to raid my personal poor box again - sifting the silver from the brown, I found 20 x 5p coins (20 shillings in old money) equals a pound - this got me another day's bus pass. Must get a monthly when I get paid. I still have two tins of ministrone soup in work, so I scrounged a couple of slices of bread to have the soup. Then I contacted the bank to attempt negotiate something that will not make me so impoverished towards the end of the month. After loads of padding around the key pads I got put through to the call centre in some exotic place where the call centre operatives earn about 1/8th of my salary but live the life of Posh Spice and David Beckham. I was given another phone number to ring which turned out to be a fob off (fuck off). Rung the bank again, exotic call centre with that Byzantine approach to dealing with customers. More waiting and more holding with incredibly trashy music which was really getting on my nerves. After about an hour, I was told I was told that I must go to my branch to renegotiate things!. Why the fuck did they not tell me that in the first place. My bank has made thousands out of me and other poor saps, I hope I win the lottery and then I'll show them. I hope my bank goes the way of Northern Rock - bastards.

Skint in the Credit Crunch

2008-01-16T20:26:00.000Z

There are many occasions when I have been waiting in the queue to use a cash machine when the person in front receives the message that his / her account has dried up and the bank would not be doling out any more money. The look is one of dismay - the look of being a few pence away from hunger. The next step is this

The bank would not give me ten quid out of the cash machine, I did not have the fare to go the supermarket to use the coinstar machine. I had to charge up my Oyster card. Bloody hell, it was a huge job sifting the silver from the brown, I managed to pay for the three quid bus pass by a mixture of 5 and 10p pieces - this is a sure sign that one is impoverished. Oh the embarrassment.

Teach Your Children Well

2008-01-13T23:45:00.001Z

Taking this line from the old Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young number I decided to teach my teenage daughter about Rock 'n' Roll - the base root of all pop music. She likes all the guitar bands as well as some of the classic bands of the 60's and 70's; she even likes Elvis. Oh no, things have to go a bit further than that, I thought, I regaled with her various hits of the 50's. This little tune grabbed her attention:

In spite of Frankie singing like an angel, she was quite impressed with the gestures and expressions of the band. It's a great song with great lyrics. Beautifully performed.

BBC4 Pop Programmes

2008-01-07T22:10:00.000Z

Watched some programmes on BBC4 about pop music on BBC television. Top of the Pops documentary was ok. Then we were treated to an episode of Top of the Pops from 1968; gosh most of the music was shit with the exceptions of The Move and Status Quo. Then we had Juke Box Jury - the guest Jurors were David McCallum, his then wife, Jill Ireland and Nina and Frederick.

The first disc was Poetry in Motion by Johnny Tillotson, it got savaged by the Jury who complained that the saxophone was too raucous. Then they were regaled with early 60's schmalz such as John "Mr Piano" Henderson's Honky Tonk Concerto along with Pinky and Perky both of which were met with unanimous approval.

Poetry in Motion is a great record - considering the recording limitations of the time, there is an awful lot going on - the raucous sax mingling with a very dreamy soprano voice, how they managed to mix that is beyond comprehension. I guess at the time it did sound somewhat avant-garde - the beat chops and changes - sublime stuff.

Hear it for yourselves

Yet I recall reading Mick Farren's book Watch Out Kids where he expresses the view that the youth reaction to the mainstream schmalz triggered off rock cultural revolution in this country and in its turn the politicisation of youth. Even Germaine Greer quotes the book.

Music is a great antidote to Grumpiness

2008-01-07T00:53:00.001Z

I was watching a number of programmes Dance Britannia on BBC4 tonight. It was great, they blew away all that grumpy bullshit. I was inspired to look on Youtube to look for some more good vibes and found this:

Although the sound production is a bit muddy, the musicianship is excellent.

Yep, Otis Redding - this man and his band knew how to rock. He inspired and influenced numerous British rock bands. I used to read about him in the New Musical Express in my youth, but nothing really registered - Sitting by the Dock of the Bay, Respect and My Girl were the only things I knew in the audio, but seeing him and his band live really made me feel quite good. Now I can go to bed in a good mood.

Table Manners

2008-01-06T22:34:00.001Z

I can be quite liberal when it comes to table manners. Greg Proops asked who, in private, scoops ice cream into a bowl?. I don't consider myself a prude when it comes to sex; but when the table and sex come together you have a choice - either you eat from it or you shag on it, of course some people use food as a sex aid. That's their business.

When I go into a restaurant, however, I expect a fair degree of decorum from my fellow diners - of course, this respect is reciprocated. This was not the case when I went into a Chinese Restaurant in Central London today. There was a couple in their late teens but fitted the twelve year old bill. The male of the couple was sporting a baseball cap under its peak was hanging that rather irritating lopsided fringe favoured by twelve year male old pop stars. The female was a blonde bimbo.

They pawed at each other like two dogs on heat, they exchanged bodily fluids by long wet kisses; all of this done in the middle of a restaurant where people were trying toeat. This activity was really getting on my nerves. Worse was yet to come, the lopsided fringe male had his meal to brought to him; he stopped eating mid-way, pawed at his girlfriend and wet-kissed. Bloody hell, I did not need to witness a mating while eating.

It would be a really good idea for the government to introduce legislation stopping people under the age of 25 entering restaurants unless they are accompanied by a forty year old.

The East Dulwich Dullie

2007-12-29T19:54:00.001Z

I have been trying extremely hard to put my finger on the nouveau middle class and it exists right under my nose - snobbery, questionable liberal politics, insufferable parents, ponsification, boredom, bullshit, ersatz rusticity, gobshite, cheese shops, the Guardian Newspaper and M & S. In the past ten years, these buggers have descended on the enclave of East Dulwich, a frontier town - some blacks but not too many, ideal for the liberal couple who will not feel that they will have their personal values compromised by the unpleasant activities which are perpetrated by street gangstaz.

They can have their cheese shop, deli, organic butcher with sourced (great bullshit word to pander to the Dullie) produce (another bullshit word).

Every so often I go shopping in Sainsbury's in Dog Kennel Hill; it's like going to the baboon enclosure of a safari park - it's full of fucking Dullies!. Their behaviour and conduct leaves much to be desired - they don't give a shit for their fellow Dullies let alone a rent-paying pleb like me. They barge their trolley in front of you expecting you to get out of the fucking way. Barging in front of you when you are looking at items on the shelves - no "excuse me" nothing. They're completely vicious.

I went to a party thrown by a Dullie, the conversation was around house prices, design and how fucking nice their how looked, how fucking clever their horrible children are, the exclusive schools they're attending; the holidays off the beaten track; all the vacuuous shallow bullshit. The conversation had as much humour and wit as a motto on a Christmas Cracker. It was so dull that a stink bomb would not have gone amiss at said party. I got so bored, bored, bored, that I left the party buggered off home and watched the telly.

Catherine Tate gives a very funny example of a Dullie, here it is:

Read about one Dullie's unfortunate experience of having to suffer the indignity of travelling on a bus and coming up close to one of the great unwashed

Also have a look at this interminable video - it is a Dullie with a Camcorder showing us around her new home.

Kitchen Kulture

2007-12-27T20:23:00.000Z

It's extraordinary how commercial interests are forming the culture of the New Middle Class - from baby clothes to houses. Everything flat-packed and accessible - easy to follow instructions.

Now we are saturated with ads on tv plugging the modern designed kitchen, Magnet is displaying these dreadful advertisements of young, rich middle class people enjoying themselves in the kitchen. Fucking hell, haven't these buggers got an entire house in a stunning new development to have fun. No, Magnet see things differently, you can have "a media centre" (telly) with all the bullshit in the kitchen. You can spill alcohol and behave like an obnoxious boor. You can invite a designer into your house to have this must have lifestyle fascism accessory.

It's fucking rich that these installations leave a huge carbon footprint the size of a small village in The Peoples' Republic of China.

It's fucking bullshit.

Christmas is upon us

2007-12-24T00:40:00.000Z

See previous post on subject - Christmas is just bullshit!

Nick Ferrari on Tony Blair

2007-12-23T22:56:00.000Z

I was listening to Nick Ferrari earlier this week, he did a review of the past year; one of the topics of discussion was Blair, he had a retinue of several political pundits commenting on his tenure in office. All said he did not do enough Thatcherism but fucked up big time in Iraq. Hang on, what are these bozos on about - not doing enough Thatcherism, that's a bit like a trio of junkies commenting on a friend who died of a drug overdose not doing enough heroine. Fucking marvelous. Then Nick Ferrari invited people to phone in to comment, hardly any supported Blair and Nick put paid to their detractions fairly quickly. I think the topic came quickly to a close. It seemed as if the production team were expecting loads of people to phone to say what a swell guy Blair is.

Snobbery is back with a vengance

2007-12-08T18:42:00.000Z

There is a lot of snob value in the French Language. GCSE O Level is spoken and understood by only those who have learned it. Trust me, I have been to France on numerous occasions and my O Level French is always met with the incredulity that I may as well be speaking Classical Hebrew. I tried this tack in Paris, I spoke O Level French through the nose and successfully got une biere, une chambre dans l'hotel, un cafe.

When I read Tolstoy's War and Peace, the main characters were conversing with each other in French; it was Tolstoy's mechanism that the aristocracy and rich people separated themselves from the Russian Plebs. The richest irony in the book is that the Napoleonic Army invades the land and poses this class under immediate threat.

I was in Dulwich today, discovered that a hairdresser was called "Coiffure" and a baby accessory shop called Jojo Maman Bébé. (Who the fuck is Jojo?, the erstwhile Dad who's done a bunk on the child maintenance?) There is a burgeoning snob community in East Dulwich. Anything like this would pander to this breed of people who are no doubt New Model Parents, M & S shoppers and all the bullshit which comes with them.

Beer Can Man at the Bus Stop

2007-12-06T20:15:00.000Z

I was at New Cross this morning waiting for the bus, pelting down with rain. It was 9.30. There was Beer Can Man attempting to shake hands with people in the bus shelter. He was wielding a tin of Carlsberg Special Brew. He was all smiles and full of that menacing bonhomie that one associates with street drunks. The people in the bus queue attempted to ignore him but this was like trying to ignore someone with a loaded gun. He tired of his feigned friendliness and had a fight with a lamp-post, he threw a couple of punches at its trunk, lamp-post did nothing stood inert and proud. He looked pained and went back to the bus queue. This time, he was full of aggression and started to act like a drill sergeant - barking orders at the queue to stand to "Attention" and then to "At ease", he repeated this again and again with excruciating monotony. Each member of the queue had that look of "will I be singled out". One woman in her sixties was brave enough to stand up to him and told him in no uncertain terms to leave her alone and her fellow members of the queue. He would not listen, the bugger just kept on and on. In the meantime, police cars flew by with flashing disco lights making noises like flying saucers from a 50's sci-fi film. Fucking marvelous!

The Wonders of Busing brought to you by TfL

2007-12-06T19:59:00.002Z

Today was a rainy soggy day. The buses were running like cattle trucks. I was in Sutton, I attempted to avoid the school crush and got to my bus stop at 2.45, the bus was running and the bus that I wanted zoomed by packed with passengers - it zoomed by 10 minutes later than what it said on the time table. The next bus came at 10 minutes later than what the time table stated - it was packed but the driver allowed us on. We reached Carlshalton; there was a mass of school girls who came on the bus like a flock of mad geese and sounding similar. Some girls tried to board the bus through the middle doors, but a West Indian man denied them entrance "get in the queue, respect", phew that was a relief. He then shut the door via the emergency control, well it was an emergency. The driver seemed panicked, he turned off the engine, but did not tell any of the girls to get off the bus nor did he shut the doors on his part of the bus. Eventually the bus moved off. Some of the girls sounded quite political commenting that the school should invest its money in buses rather than in laptops. Although they were quite loud and got on my nerves, they were quite well-behaved. Got off at Croydon to catch my connecting bus - it came, it was packed to the degree that faces of school kids were squashed up against the door windows - they looked in a complete state of resigned despair. Something told me, this is not right - Transport for London is crap, it does not care about its passengers, it could not manage a kiddies merry go round let alone a bus network.

Nick Ferrari and Babytalk

2007-12-05T20:57:00.000Z

Nick Ferrari's show is degenerating into complete crap - I used to tune into his show to shout at the radio and in the process wake myself up in the mornings. Now, there seems to be endless items on fucking babies. Today's item was on IVF and the implantation of "fertilised embryos" (sic). I shouted "fuck off" at the radio and switched channels to the more sedate territory of Radio 4's Today programme.

Is Galliard Homes determining this shite? If so, it is wasting an awful lot of money.

Visit London?

2007-11-30T18:53:00.000Z

I was listening to LBC and the Tourist Trash Industry and hype around London abounds. I was getting really pissed off with all the bullshit. I check out their web site and found this blurb

"...the world’s top city destination London offers an unrivalled choice of accommodation, attractions, tours, restaurants and events..."

There is something wrong with this statement, visit any major European city and you will find "an unrivalled choice of accommodation, attractions, tours, restaurants and events"

Now let's look at the facts

London's transport system is creaky and inefficient - trains and buses are packed to the capacity that would shame a battery farmer.

Public toilets, virtually don't exist in the capital - I'm afraid you will have to poop your pants or piss yourself before you can find anywhere to fulfull your bodily functions.

The streets are filthy and liberally spattered with dogshit.

So there you have it, London is not cracked out to what this hype makes it.

More Madness on the Buses

2007-11-26T22:39:00.000Z

The liberalisation of taking baby buggies on the buses has gone too far - baby buggies are one thing, but a king-sized doubled bed x 3 is another. Intolerable parents are becoming increasingly tolerable by buying monster prams for their sprogs to take on the bus. The intolerable parent gives you that 'get out the fucking way' kind of look. They have that Bo(z)no kind arrogance that if you do not get out of the fucking way and offer your space to them, you will be wiped off the face of universe. The driver does not care, he will allow around three, sometimes four, of these monstrosities on the bus.

Poverty

2007-11-15T23:19:00.002Z

Don't you just hate Rick Stein? - he has this uncanny knack of making food prices rocket. He smugly introduces to notions of rustic poverty with statements akin to this is what poor (pore) people eat - all he has to say is "the pore eat swedes and they are delicious" that the price of swedes zooms up from 15p to £150. He is the Alan Greenspan of food prices. All he has to do is mention a food product and he has all these rich fucks hunting it down and making it completely unaffordable. I guess that Stein could even do that with a tin of spam. Stein is one of those individuals who is ponsifying food and I find him extremely annoying.

Dogshit

2007-11-15T22:30:00.000Z

I was driving around in my car today - I could smell something quite horrible - it was a come and go kind of smell - was it bad body odour? I showered this morning scrubbed my arse, crotch and feet red raw - deodorised myself so much that I smelt like a Texan cathouse. I became enlightened to what was wrong when someone had pointed out dogshit stains on the stairs - I took a surreptitious look at the soles of my shoes and lo! there it was - Dogshit. Blame the owner not the dog, most dog owners are fairly decent people, they kerb their dogs but there are others who can't be arsed. I ask those fucking idiots "can I come into your home and smear your dog's shit all over your carpet?" Its on my shoe, in my workplace and in my car. So fuck you! I hope a good helping of dogshit comes into your (irresponsible dog owner)home.

The Galliard Homes Nightmare Continues...

2007-11-14T20:04:00.000Z

Tuned into Nick Ferrari on LBC today and there it was again with the frequency of the Chinese Water Torture - Galliard Homes ads at every single commercial break. If I come into billions of pounds, I would buy Galliard Homes so that I would make the entire company go bust, such are my feelings. By the way, there is no such thing as a home anymore, all this housing boom bullshit has put paid to this notion - suggest that Galliard Homes change its name to Galliard Properties.

Galliard Homes back with a vengance on LBC

2007-11-13T20:22:00.000Z

I was listening to Nick Ferrari and LBC were playing fucking Galliard Homes ads with gay abandon. The adverts are rendered in shouting form, hectoring one to buy a box that you can buy to let in inner London. Who the fuck is going to rent a box in Inner London? Nick Ferrari topic of discussion was around rehabilitation of criminals, he took the lock em up line throughout the discussion. I got the feeling that his tongue was firmly planted in his cheek when he quoted one e-mail as suggesting that criminals should be locked in a room and played non-stop LBC adverts. If the standard of the Galliard Homes' ads is anything to go by then I think it would be a splendid idea to play them this ouvres, I believe that there will be a significant drop in crime rates were any con threatened with this kind of sentence.

The Vehicle is the Message - Foxtons

2007-10-29T20:41:00.000Z

I was driving home last night - the roads were packed out with traffic. I saw one of those Foxton's BMW minis - the sort that is dressed in sports-car livery. I realised that each of these wagons has a name. Being stuck in traffic, I decided to try and give the Foxton's BMW Mini a new name - flights of fancy produced The Hoxton Dickhead; The Realty Strangler; The Turbo Turd &c. I saw a twelve year old male driving said vehicle - I thought "if he is trying to pull with that, he might as well be driving a milk float!" Oh well, at least Foxton's seem to be restoring the good name of other estate agents.

How to make Mexican Tortillas

2007-10-23T20:41:00.001+01:00

Having to return to short of money circumstances, I am returning to a student diet. The diet would be very boring and bland - so I would try to jazz things up a bit by exploring cheapo foods from around the world. I would make lentil and veg curries and complement them with home made chapati - baked from a pan bought from my local Indian store. The flour was cheap and the chapati was easy to make.

I would get a bit fed up with Indian food and diverted my attention to Mexican. I would go to my local library to check out recipes that would be within my crappy credit rating. I checked out Mexican food on various occasions, some of the recipes looked impossible as the ingredients were not available - such as chipotle chilis, maiza harina. There was one recipe that attracted my attention - Mexican Tortillas - for this , you needed Maiza Harina. Did not have that, so I bought some corn meal - the corn meal would not turn into a dough. It got binned. Resorted to Maize meal, that was a close resemblance - this went the same way as the corn meal.

I gave this some further thought - I bought some corn meal again and after a few experiments - I found the only way of making decent tortillas this side of the Atlantic. It goes like this - soak the Maize meal in water, I prefer corn, for around twenty four hours - this softens the meal. Drain off the water, as much you can - the technique is a little panning for gold - edging the water out, leaving the meal in bowl. Start adding gradually adding chapati flour, kneading as you go along - when the dough starts to become elastic and pliant, stop adding more flour and knead the meal with flour. Leave it to stand for around 15 minutes - let it brew; then knead again, you may need to add more flour at this stage as the dough can get rather sticky. Make little dough balls and then flatten them out into tortillas with a rolling pin. Put them to bake on the chapati pan - let them puff out, turn over to cook the other side and lo, you have an approximation of a Mexican tortilla.

I've had tortillas in Mexico, nothing like the above - but at least you have a flat bread made with corn or maize.

Come to think of it, authentic Mexican food really does my guts in - it's powerful and very pungent. The nearest culinary style I can think of is southern Indian food - this cookery is very powerful and takes no prisoners, but prepare yourself for a remarkable meal

Diet

2007-10-22T20:30:00.000+01:00

Because of impoverishment, I am going back to my student days diet - lentils, curries, potatoes, carrots, peas, pepper sauce, cheap meat (no more chicken - although very cheap, I will not touch it on moral grounds). I feel as if I living in World War Two Britain!

Impecunity = More Dog Ends

2007-10-22T20:18:00.000+01:00

Being skint has led to a vast improvement in my dog-end collection. Rather than throwing the cigarette ends away, I have now resorted to collecting them. When I run out of "hard cash", I am sure they will come in handy.

Council Tax Blues

2007-10-22T19:25:00.000+01:00

Being in quite impecunious circumstances, I am having difficulty in managing my finances. There is yet more month at the end of my pay. Bad news came from the council demanding its full Council Tax - it seems that calculations are to blame. I have got into arrears and the Council is demanding its full-whack.

I phoned the Council, a Nigerian accent did not so much greet me but admonished me for getting myself into this shit. I had some discussion with the voice - she told me that I had around £200 "hard cash" - she kept on using "hard cash". She offered to set up a direct debit for me there and then. I had lost track of the number of council tax payments I had made. I told her that I would come back to her. The gruff voice responded well begrudged affirmation - this felt like a threat - if I did not cough up the money I would be dragged off to some privatised calabouse in Downtown Lagos until I come to my senses and pay the council the money owed to it.

Mercedes Schardenfreude

2007-10-21T23:27:00.000+01:00

I was coming down the Edgeware Road tonight and this tow-away vehicle cut accross my path, on its back was a brand spanking new Mercedes - the one with indicator lights on its wing mirrors. Its car alarm was squeaking out protests of indignity at having being towed off to the car pound, likewise its indicator lights. It made my day, some rich fuck would be put through some inconvenience. Being quite skint makes room for such consolations.

Nick Ferrari on LBC

2007-10-18T21:27:00.000+01:00

I was listening to Nick Ferrari on LBC today. Gosh, his show's content is fast becoming a veritable cornucopia of audio shit. Gone are the days of extremely entertaining right-wing belicose only to be replaced by fucking baby talk. There was an item on his show about how women have been made lonely by virtue of having to looking their squawking shitting soft machine all day long. He interviewed a woman an American woman by the name of 'Carter-Ann' (What kind of stupid name is that?). The parents may have named her 'BeerCanMan-Pugh'. We were regaled with a litany of American-accented moaning about how her husband does his own thing and how she feels lumbered with having to look after baby. Oh well, we are living in a post-femenist age where the feminist baby of female emancipation was tipped out with the bath water. There is no way my-ex would have accepted anything that had been lumbered on her; but we are of a different generation - gosh, being old-fashioned can bring along a delicious sense of irony at times.

I digress, Nick Ferrari's show has become real shit - check this out, he is now having to advertise goods and services as if they were topics under discussion. It is at this point that I tell the radio to "fuck off" and switch channels to Radio 4 and listen to the Today programme.

Another point is when Nick goes on holiday, we have Kelvin McKenzie of The Sun fame. He's about as wooden and entertaining as a coffin lid. His shows are uunlistenable. His delivery is like that of a dinner lady plonking stale mashed potato on your plate. He gets told to "Fuck off" before he barely speaks.

Property is Theft - A Current Example

2007-10-17T19:39:00.000+01:00

I see that the chickens are finally come home to roost in this property boom bullshit where houses, flats and homes were transformed into property; no longer an abode or an habitation, a place where one could relax - no, property is a means of generating wealth and feeding greed. Home is where the heart is, so the saying goes - but in this bullshit there are now no homes and many people have been made homeless in all of this shit. It is even worse, because in reading today's Metro, people are now having to keep up with their mortgage repayments and rent by credit card. This is worrying, there is a limit to credit card and the interest charged is extortionate. I, for one, have been paying my council tax through it (I am also going through a skint time). The fall of Northern Rock speaks volumes, yet house prices and rents remain grossly inflated. Shelter is a basic human need and should be a right. Market forces have determined that we should pay through the arse for this. Yet it does not make economic sense - people can only afford so much out of their salaries and wages towards the rent or mortgage - they have other needs to attend to such food and fuel; costs such as travelling to work, council tax, water bills etc, etc, etc. It is as if greedy property developers and those in the housing market have ignored these basic economic details in their unregulated greedy pursuits. Someone is going to pay for this fucking mess that these greedy bastards have made and it won't be property developers, estate agents or greedy landlords; oh no, it will be the taxpayer.

On a lighter but related note, I found a couple of videos on Youtube

An antidote to mobile phone hype

2007-10-09T18:54:00.000+01:00

This dutch clip says it all about mobile phones - the dutch commentary is interesting in that I can understand most of what is being said. It's hilarious

It's sad to note that with the advent of reality television and lifestyle programmes, there is not much room for comedy in the UK, we are fast becoming a sad bunch, literally.

New Model Parents on Bicycles

2007-10-08T19:49:00.000+01:00

If these buggers aren't barging around in their SUV's of four by fours, they're on fucking bikes!. Seen today, twelve year old parent was riding this bike on a busy in tow of a plastic box on wheels, the contents of which were two of her sprogs. Big fat lorries and buses zoom up and down that road. New Model Parent could not give a shit about the possible dangers of using such a contraption. If they aren't on the road, they are cycling on the pavement with a sprog in tow riding another bike - the belief being they have a legitimate right to mount the pavement. This woman, complete with cycling helmet, came at me pel-mel on her bike telling me to get the fuck out of the way. It was on a pavement. I did not move so she and her sprog behind her had to circumnavigate me. It is illegal to mount the pavement on a bicycle and I'm not going to make any allowance for illegality. The solution to this problem is clearly evident - keep these buggers and their offspring off bikes.

The Tyranny of the New Model Parent

2007-10-07T21:20:00.000+01:00

It's not just modern parenting - it's silly parenting. The M & S people are fast becoming parents. Twelve year olds who have spawned the next generation. On the other side of the class spectrum is the chav - fag puffing, half a dozen babies and yelling. The M & S people don't smoke, oh no, they don't have half a dozen babies, they have two, usually. Their attitude to what they consider good parenting is laissez-faire - ie let their little brats run amok. I was having lunch in a shopping mall today - that was a big mistake but all my favourite eateries have been invaded by New Model Parents and their sprogs. The eating part of the mall was quite busy and there were parents with their children, but these parents and their children were normal people - they got on with what they wanted to do - eat. There was, however, a group of new model parents with half a dozen brats. The brats were running riot around the restaurant area, the first I knew of it was a kick in the back of my shins, this horrid little specimin was trying to get by without so much as an excuse me.

I had this flight of fancy:

These little shits, it seems, were given carte blanche to do what the fuck they liked, any injury incurred thereof would be blamed on the nearest adult at time of injury. So if wee brat slammed his head against a corner of a table, the nearest adult would be blamed.

Invasion of the Home Snatchers

2007-09-28T20:26:00.000+01:00

We are living in a time when economics and the market have become the driving forces behind how we live and how are culture is defined. A good example of this is around accommodation or dwelling. Property developers and many companies who flog or rent properties no longer use the words home, flat, house, dwelling - they now use the word "development", "luxury apartments", "property", "investment" etc. It's as if these bastards are doing a splendid job in alienating people - being without a decent home. A really good example of alienation. House and home no longer exist. When more well-off people buy a house, they no longer buy a house they buy into greed - buy to let, buy to exploit. We shall have to wait and see how this very nasty development will pan out on the social and cultural landscape.

On an indirectly related note, I went past a Foxton's Estate Agent today. I thought it was a coffee bar - coffee and ice cold soft-drinks available to customers. The decor looked like a fucking multi-coloured nightmare - furniture in cardinal colours - all brightly lit with neon - you would need a welder's mask to walk into the place. The place looked as if it suffered too much interior design - panache and style were conspicuous by their absence. The employees appeared to be twelve year olds in suits. My suspicions were confirmed - Foxton's exist solely to encourage people to flog their property through other better established estate agents.

Daytime Television - Daytime Nightmares

2007-09-27T22:12:00.000+01:00

It seems that the Jeremy Kyle (Vyle) show has started to court controversy. This show appears to select some very messed up people who seemed to have been seduced into believing that the airing of their dirty washingis of great therapeutic value. Jeremy Kyle and his production retinue appear to me like 21st Century Snake Oil Salesman who will help messed up people to face up to being cuckolded; helping people and their families coming to terms with their homosexuality, frigidity, gambling,alcoholism, substance abuse, violence, rape and the entire menu of ills that plagues the lumpen proletariat.

By stark contrast, we have the middle classes portrayed as stable, mainly heterosexual, living in nice houses and having dinner parties or having friends around for supper. No sign of dysfunction anywhere. Everything clinical and spotless. No family psychodramas; no fights; no noise apart from the clinking of wine glasses.

I watched this dreadful programme on some woman who wanted a house makeover and she was angst-ridden about access to her backyard (the commentary actually said "patio" but it looked like a backyard to me). We were regaled with door fittings, floors, decking and loveliness. The woman was shown into one house where the owners had a specially commissioned modern art painting to hang in their kitchen. It was a framed rectangular brown mass - bullshit?. Costs to convert her property were quoted in thousands, it was bollocks - who the fuck can afford that kind of money.

When you compare the middle class with the people who appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show, the middle class must lead incredibly boring and shallow lives!

I thought about the audience of this silly programme - the unemployed, the lumpen proletariat, women imprisoned by family life and people who have nothing better to do with their lives.

Hazel Blears - One Clown to Another

2007-09-26T23:40:00.000+01:00

Hazel launched into a tirade against Boris Johnston at the New Labour Conference struck me as a "don't look at me...look at Boris" kind of speech. The woman is to New Labour what Boris is to the Tories; furthermore, Ms Blears does bear a striking resemblance to Ronald MacDonald

"

It's not just litter, it's M and S litter

2007-09-14T21:29:00.001+01:00

On a recent visit to Germany, I discovered the supermarkets do not give out plastic bags, you have to bring your own or buy a long-life one available at the check out. The litter bins are compartmentalised for cans, paper etc. The streets in Berlin are quite clean apart from the highly available dogshit, where the generous dog owners will donate their dog turds to the immediate community.

Although we have litter bins and recycling bins, relatively few people seem to take part of the service. Not so much dogshit around, but plenty of litter. I have come across quite a few M & S Bags - I get really pissed off with M & S and the market it targets.

So here is antidote that I found on Youtube

Hope you will enjoy

London Loop

2007-09-06T22:28:00.000+01:00

I know bullshit when I see it, I know bullshit when I have to pay for it. Because I pay council tax and have an Oyster Card, Transport for London publish this magazine at the expense of those who pay council tax and its passengers. Not only that, they shell out a horrendous amount of money on postage to send me its fucking rag "London Loop". What you get is this glossy extolling how wonderful London's transport is and the splendid job that Transport for London is doing to meet its passengers' needs. Propaganda! at our expense.

The magazine is like circus programme - full of face painting extravaganzas, unicyle, clowns etc. You just get the feel the feeling that your commodified and corporate leftist Ken Livingstone has complete editorial control over it - a mini-Murdoch

"Splash out on some 'Black Gold' without guilt - Caviar House and Prunier (What the fuck is a prunier?), sells farmed caviar saving the sturgeon from extinction"

The mag advertises gives write ups on restaurants where admission is only permissable on presentation of a bank statement indicating that you have £2 million quid in your current account otherwise fuck off.

Here is a splendid example of commidified and corporate leftism al a Livingstone - the magazine suggests a visit to the Marx Memorial Library - I don't know who funds this - is it a theme park?

Then we have the fucking "Day of the Bicycles" London goes traffic free - in order to allow cyclists to zoom down the road and mount the pavement and intimidate pedestrians.

Article on Marylebone, oh fuck - as if you could really afford to live there.

Then we have Borough Market - oh fuck off - what you get are these stalls owned by rich middle class people who import extra virgin olive oil from little village in Sicily at 1p a litre and flog 10 000 times that amount. What you are getting here is just another shopping mall that merely flogs images and gastronomic fashion accessories - exotic knick-knacks for display in the kitchen when people come to a dinner party or supper - "...that is a Patagonian bull penis salami, we bought when we were in Buenos Aires..." - not so much keeping up with the Jones's but grinding them into the dust. Borough Market just sells middle class style weaponry.

I get to the end of the rag and despair that my money, my council tax and my fares are spent on producing and posting out this shit.

You go to Paris - superb public transport - nice buses, nice metro

You go to Berlin - superb public transport - nice buses, nice U-bahn

You come to London - and you have a transport system that would not be fit for battery hens and a management that could not even run a kiddies' merry-go-round. Yet, we get this expensive glossy magazine mailed to us at expensive postage to tell us an awful lot of bullshit. Why?

Where my TV licence fee is going

2007-09-06T21:19:00.001+01:00

A few months ago, some man representing the TV Licensing Authority came to my door. He said that if I had a television, I needed a tv licence to watch it. I admitted to having a television and he gave me the chance of buying the television which I duly did - I got a card where I go to the newsagent and pay £5.50 in instalments each week. Ever since I have started to pay for the television, I have made an important discovery - I am paying for crap. I am paying for twelve year olds who present television programmes but do not have enough intelligence to dig holes and fill them again. Let's look at what I am paying for:

BBC1 - shit - complete shit - unwatchable - despite its pedigree of being the first tv channel in this country - it cannot even come up to the poor standards of Channel 5. As for its news coverage - Mickey Mouse and Goofy may as well be presenting the news.

BBC2 - Promising start and evolution then turned to the contents of a blocked toilet in order to ape Channel 4's trashy output.

BBC3 - Who the fuck watches this channel. I don't think twelve year olds watch this.

BBC4 - Excellent, Excellent, Excellent - worth every penny of my licence fee.

Radio 1 - well the yoof listen to it.

Radio 2 - good programmes, I really like Johnny Walker.

Radio 3 - great programmes, good classical output, good source of musical education.

Radio 4 - can't imagine life without it, if it were compulsory to have a radio receiver licemce, I'd cough up.

BBC on the internet - lifw`would be quite horrible without listen again.

The biggest irony is that most of the licence fee goes on the things I hate about the BBC - BBC1, BBC2 and BBC3. The problem is that the BBC makes me feel that I am in a minority about the things I like about it. It is as if the BBC alludes that its output must appeal to the 'wider audience'. Oh, fuck off!

HSBC Radio

2007-09-06T19:47:00.000+01:00

Being quite skint at the moment, I have to behave myself with my bank account - I am fast approaching the end of my overdraft limit and I have too much month at the end of my pay. I went into my bank, HSBC, to obtain a statement print-out to check on things. My nerves were somewhat jangled and the muzak did little to alleviate the situation. The muzak stopped, a male voice announced "This is HSBC radio" then a female voice came on, deejay, talking deejay babble - you know that twelve year old shit - that was babble babble babble and next we have babble...then there were ads about the crippling and balls busting loans that the bank offers. What the fuck is HSBC playing at; spending on all that interest I pay them on some twelve year old to announce fucking records.

Property Developers as Pollutants

2007-09-02T23:22:00.000+01:00

I downloaded this podcast from the BBC, Crossing Continents, it was a report by Julian Pettifer who examined on how holiday makers and property developers are beshitting the Mediterranean. Spain has become so overdeveloped and polluted, that property developers are casting their sights on the Eastern Med. In Montenegro, for example, it is estimated that there are 2000 bits of plastic polluting 1 square kilometre of sea. In spite of the National Law that allows everybody access to the beach, property developers have marked out their territories, like a dogs pissing on the corner of a wall, by hiring security guards to patrol the beach that they consider theirs, ie near to where they have built an hotel. On one beach, Julian Pettifer was told to leave by a security guard as it reserved for special people. He went to another beach and told by a security guard that he could stay on a beach if pays "twenty five erreh (twenty five Euros); for the twenty five erreh he would get a sun bed and beach umbrella. Gosh, it seems that property developers are dangerous and hazardous pollutants.

You can download the podcast here

Is Nothing Sacred?

2007-09-01T22:24:00.000+01:00

Have you ever noticed that when a really good piece of music becomes hackneyed it becomes horrible on the ear. This happened with Vivaldi's Four Seasons when telephone answering services adopted as a jingle designed to keep you hanging on to the telephone. Ad agencies are now plundering classical music to sell burgers, paint, diy, shit. Now Diesel has found Schubert's Piano Trio in E Flat to flog one of its stinky products. Worse still, the music stops and starts. The ad is real shit and I feel really angry that my personal cultural is being invaded by this shit.

X-Factor - Fern Cotton - The Scabies Factor

2007-08-25T21:26:00.000+01:00

My daughter wanted to watch the X-factor tonight. Televisual trash along with Big Brother, Big Gorilla Celebrity in the Living Room - Get it out of here type of shit. I spent most of the time in the kitchen, yet every time I came into the living room there was the Mockney tones of twelve year old tv celebrity cum presenter, Fern Cotton. She's like scabies, getting under your skin and irritating the life out of you. Is this creature so designed to get on middle-aged nerves? Judging by her apparent vacuousness guess her raison d'etre is to plague the aging - why can't she just fuck off?

An Invitation to coffee from Foxtons, Estate Agents

2007-08-23T21:56:00.000+01:00

I received two junk mail communiques from Foxtons, the Estate Agent, today. They invited me for coffee at one of their shops. The purpose of which was the prospect of letting my home to more desireable and more monied tenants. Is this one of the ways how people are made homeless?

Are estate agents pandering to the greed of the landlord and in so doing throwing people out of their homes?

It seems that this particular estate agent has been given some of its clients an awful lot of fun and somebody has become so vexed by them that s/he has devoted an entire web site to the obviously s/he may have experienced by them.

One of the monied and better tenants, paying £210 in rent per week to Foxtons, was so impressed with their service that s/he moved to comment

Can we really believe this landlord about the splendid service that Foxtons provided him / her? No, can't be true! Surely not Foxtons

Surely it can't be true.

Another satisfied customer

So impressed was this person with the service supplied by the said estate agent that s/he was moved to comment

Maybe I should go, drink their coffee and pocket (as would Ed Reardon) any Danish Pastries or sausage rolls which might be available. Then I shall exchange bogus details about my property give them a bogus phone number - methinks that another branch of Foxtons would suffice. Bingo, I have shall have free coffee, free eats and helping Foxtons staff to waste their time! Cannot think of a more imaginative way of spending a relaxing evening.

I think that Foxtons must have a huge carbon footprint, why did they need to send two communiques whereas one would have sufficed.

For more information check out this article

I get the feeling that Foxton's existence is necessary - it seems that they exist to suggest that you check out other estate agents rather than them.

More Fun with Communication

2007-08-22T11:54:00.000+01:00

Privatisation of public services has brought about wondrous changes - even more shoddier goods and services. I have already complained about British Gas and their poor communication - press telephone keypad as if one is channel surfing with the television. Then the interminable wait, being told that one will wait for 45 minutes to before one's call is answered.

I have this electricity charge key which I have to top up from time-to-time to ensure that I have to get electricity. On Sunday I put £5 on the key, on Monday I was without electricity - I charge up the key again. No light. I phoned up the supplier, EDF energy. I was told by the young woman answering the phone that I had come through to the wrong section - I had contacted the emergency line! Well, I never thought that being without is not construed as an emergency by EDF. She said that she would give me an alternative number but warned that the lines are quite busy (whenever you hear this, don't believe it, it means that call centre is clearly understaffed - remember that shareholders come first). I gave up on following this avenue of enquiry, my mobile phone did not have enough electricity nor credit to endure the interminable wait. I thought that I should give the key another try, cleaned and bingo, I had electricity.

It occurs to me now, what happens when vulnerable people encounter the same problems. Do these companies, which make millions of pounds, give a shit about their customers?

Accents and Class

2007-08-14T20:59:00.000+01:00

Class is alive and kicking in this country, don't let anyone kid you otherwise. While waiting for a bus, a twelve year old woman passed me by babbling into her mobile, I caught these words "It like changed my life?" - It was not a question but an inflection which made the phrase sound like an inflection. Her accent had the usual crisp middle class tones but lightly peppered with American - Valley Girl sprung to mind. Given all of this, I could not imagine her barging a pushchair on to a bus in ten years time.

My guess is that in thirty years time, her kind of dialect will become the received pronounciation whereas "ya know wot I min" will be left to the rest of us.

Bring Back Cheapo Harpic (with cyrillc writing)

2007-08-13T22:25:00.001+01:00

What is it about bog cleaner these days - it promises to clean your bog, descale it and make it fit for a dignitary to shit in. All it does is turn the water blue. The 99p shop use to sell Harpic with cyrillic writing on it - that did the trick - I had a really lovely looking porcelain loo - a veritable bone china tea cup of a loo from which you could drink a hot drink. The 99p shop no longer sells Harpic with cyrillic writing, so I get the conventional bog cleaner which does not work.

Location, Location, Location - Burglars' Brochure?

2007-08-09T23:41:00.001+01:00

Having one's gaff burgled is no fun; but when a trash tv programme "Location, Location, Location" becomes a brochure for burglars one is left to wonder why invite a trashy tv programme into your home; it is only a Trojan Horse for burglars. Let this be a lesson to all those egoists out there - don't encourage shit television, it only encourages shit people to come in and have it on their toes with your your valuables.

Greedy Property Developers in Government?

2007-08-09T20:20:00.000+01:00

In surfing the web, I found this campaigning blog against property developers who are laying waste to garden space in Cardiff. It's nice to see a like minded people on the blog. What is interesting about this entry, however, how these greedy and destructive bastards become so well embedded and networked in Government. Another area of concern is that these greedy buggers are alleged to be using dirty tricks to get their own way.

The article, and for that matter, the entire blog makes interesting reading

Here's another article on the same subject

If you think that things could not get any worse check out channel

Also check out Channel 4 Despatches "Bad Housing"

Holiday Bookings Nightmare

2007-08-08T21:26:00.000+01:00

Booking holidays online is proving to be a nightmare. Being significantly impoverished, I have been searching all the popular cheapy holiday web sites - Lastminute, Ebookers and Teletext - I suppose if you had a £10k per month salary, these sites would be cheapy. Pour moi, however, costo molto! Searching dug up a holiday in Crete around £600 - ok, credit card can manage that - went ahead and booked it. Then it dawned on me, where's the fucking flight? All I booked was the hotel - in a fit of panic, I cancelled it - the cost around £150, bollocks. So this is how holiday companies make their dosh.

Time was that one could go into a travel agent and book a holiday, but check out this complaint that I sent to Thomson Holidays two years ago

1 Brochure price for two city break to Paris: one hundred and thirty nine pounds per person. Extra night to this over one hundred pounds. I was prepared to let this matter rest until I saw the actual price per room (not person _ they do not charge by person in France) is sixty euros. I accept that you have to make a commission but by around 300%, do you not consider this a trifle excessive.

2 My fare by Eurostar was hiked up on the spot at the time of booking. I was told that the seat that I had booked had already gone and that I would have to book another at an extra cost of fifty pounds _ with hindsight the brochure was now completely disregarded and I now feel completley ripped off.

3 Upon arrival in Paris, I was not given adequate information about the location of the hotel. The information on the document was Hotel de France situated by the Marais, in the Rue de Rivoli, nearest metro - Nation or Porte de Vincenne. Upon arrival at Porte de Vincennes, I could not find the Rue de Rivoli as it is actually situated near the Chatelet metro. The Rue de Rivoli is around a kilometre long; but no Hotel de France. I found a hotel of a similar name, where the very helpful receptionists did some phoning around for me - they also contacted your Lakeside office. The upshot of this was that I was told that they were merely the agents and that it was responsibility of the tour operators, who had closed their offices for the day. Not a lot could be done. The manager endeavoured to find a hotel de france. One drew a blank, the helpful receptionist at the hotel did some further phoning around for me and established that the Hotel de France is situated in the Rue de Docteur Netter. I felt obliged to pay the receptionist twenty Euros for the phone calls and the trouble and which he was not obliged to take.

I had to rely on the good will of other people who are not your tour operators. What is even more laughable is that part of your documentation which states "You are in safe hands". I felt more like a hostage to fortune than been in "safe hands".

To summarise, the charges imposed on me have been unreasonable vis-a-vis the cost of the hotel accommodation and the hike in the fare - these are not justifiable especially when comparing the actual price of the room in said hotel and the euro star. I believe that the total cost of the break deviated with what was on offer in the brochure; To add severe insult to this injury was I was nearly left high and dry with my ten year old daughter had it not been for the helpful assistance supplied by people who were not part of Thomson Holidays or Thomas Cook organisations.

I believe that I deserve some remuneration for this dreadful and very costly service.

Thomson did not respond to this complaint and I believe that their reputation still goes before them. I shall never book with Thomson again.

I'm Skint

2007-08-04T20:14:00.000+01:00

I checked my bank account today, the figures told a pretty horrible story - I'm skint. When skint, the bills start to wash around your head like dirty clothes in a tumble drier. I paid the council tax. I paid the rent. What about the holiday? Got to pay for that, the kids expect that. Get the credit card out. The current account, however, indicates that I have too much month at the end of my pay.

Things could be much worse. I heard that repossession of homes is up 30% on last year, this means that numerous people have lost their place they call home. It's not good - these people are struggling and surely there is a better way than this property owning bullshit to provide homes for people.

By unusual coincidence, we got "The Pursuit of Happiness" out of the library. Ever since the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, I have always had a soft spot for Will Smith - cocky but funny, even in "I Robot", it comes peeping through; but he carries his films extremely well. In this film, however, he plays a completely different ball game with a different set of rules. A man, Chris Gardner, and his family living in impecunious circumstances, having to flog medical equipment to survive. We see his marriage break up and we see both he and his son having to sleep rough and live in motels and doss-houses. He plays this part completely straight and with such passion that I started to live in his shoes (or lack of one - see the film). The film has lifted my despondent mood. Great stuff , Will - you are what acting is all about! Getting people to live your character's life.

Beer Can Man Boards the Bus

2007-08-03T21:57:00.001+01:00

Beer Can Man boarded the bus at around 9.00am today. He was carrying a small black plastic bag, he appeared lit up like Las Vegas. The seating on buses is rather irregular these days, one seat here, two seats there, some seats face to face, some towering behind others. Unlike the route masters, which had a regular seating order, these buses are truly magical. Beer Can Man found his seat in front of me and I was staring down at his bald and polished head. He had as much bling on his fingers as Jimmy Saville He had a small black plastic bag from which he was swallowing fluid. He was not fooling me, but he continued in this act of pretence until the contents of the can came to an end, when he took it out it the black plastic bag - it was Foster's Lager. He dumped the can on the floor and put the black bag in his holdall which he was also carrying. I felt so annoyed that I wanted slap a tattoo of triplets on his polished bald head - discretion being the better part of valour got hold of me - don't tangle with a drunk - I had to get to work.

Yet another annoyance on Public Transport.

Yowling Babies

2007-08-03T20:40:00.000+01:00

I have been subject to yowling babies throughout the week - this has happened on the bus. MP3 Player, some soothing Ravel - earplugs in - yowling baby switched on. Complete state of resignation, I listen to yowling baby throughout the remainder of the journey. I try a different tack, read book - yowling baby starts squawking - resignation again.

Newborn babies, however, give out the most irritating yowling sound - you will find newborn baby being presented to the world in a supermarket on a trolley like some treasured item off the shelf. The sound that this creature gives off is like an electric guitar played by some twelve year old beginner who has attached a dodgy wah-wah pedal. Quite horrible.

Grumpy Old Bus Driver

2007-08-02T22:27:00.001+01:00

The driver of today's bus may well have been me! There was this arsehole blocking the road with his body while babbling into his mobile phone, he had one of those massive cars that almost cover over half the width of the road, did he get in his car, no he did not - the bus driver bibbed his horn and shouted "get out the way, man - idiot", the idiot got into his massive car and continued babbling. He looked like one of those self-assured smug gits who does not give a shit about anyone else but himself, he was a suit without the jacket - dressed in shirt, tie and trousers. Then we had the lady who boarded the bus saying that she had spent money on her Oyster Card, bus driver demanded to see the receipt, when this was not produced, he lectured her about having a receipt. He, nevertheless, allowed her to continue her journey two stops down the road. Then we had a group of youths who tried to board the bus; one of whom looked 15 attempted to argue with the driver that he is 13, the driver would have none of it "show me proof that you are 13", youth replied "I don't have no proof, I'm thirteen..." They all disembarked.

Nice to see grumpies applying themselves

A better logo for the 2012 Olympics

2007-07-31T23:24:00.000+01:00

This seems to be an improvement on the 2012 Olympics. I am sure everyone will approve - the theme music is quite apt too.

What is a Bedsit?

2007-07-25T20:25:00.000+01:00

This is a frequently asked question to search engines and lo! people find their way onto this blog. See earlier entries about the fun I had when living in a bedsit.

Now here's the response:

Bedsits are rooms in a house where the owner or landlord has decided to let out his / her rooms to individuals (supposedly). One has to share facilities such as kitchen, bathroom and bog. Bedsits are relatively cheap, but like all privately rented accommodation the tenants have very few rights - whether you keep up with your rent does not secure you a home for life, oh no - the Landlord can get you out at a month's notice. He can also hassle you over this and that, if you want to keep your room for the foreseeable future it is best to be acquiescent, otherwise you will be trudging the streets again.

Conditions within a house may vary - I was living in a house that was cockroach infested and I had hours of fun gunning them down with a spray loaded with Dettol. The cooker was constantly filthy and the surrounding area around the cooker was as slippery as an ice rink. The bath was rarely clean, likewise the bog.

Your fellow residents can be quite varied - noisy Albanians coming in at all hours to the smouldering axe murderers.

You have to a strong stomach and high degree of tolerance to live in such an environment.

It is a few steps removed from living in a doss house or sleeping on the street. It's no fun at all.

Of course, giving that we live in a situation where we are free to choose - we can always hope to buy affordable accommodation on offer for a quarter of a million quid by some benevolent property developer - he is obviously going through extremes of poverty to offer you the place at such a paltry price, all because he loves you and he cares.

Celebrity Saturation Point

2007-07-24T23:31:00.000+01:00

I was in the doctor's surgery today and found one of those horrid celebrity magazines to leaf through while waiting to see the doctor. The magazine consisted of all these dolls dressed up to the nines at some function or another looking completely really important but doing absolutely nothing but stand in front of photographs looking celeb. Such is the meaning of this.

Then I saw this article on Chantelle of Big Brother fame, showing her and boyfriend returning from shopping trip at Sainsbury's; boyfriend was shown carrying the shopping while Chantelle was carrying these two small dogs that had been obviously designed to kick around a football stadium. Chantelle, I believe, bases her entire life on Paris Hilton - she has yet to get a drink-driving offence and some time in one of Her Majesty's Hotels to complete the image.

Our culture is becoming so celebrity saturated.

Another Observation from a Bus

2007-07-24T22:03:00.000+01:00

I was on another bus journey yesterday, I was travelling through a rather middle class area. Several women boarded the bus, two of whom had the pushchair equivalent of a four wheel drive vehicle, the contents of these vehicles were their highly articulate brats who sported middle class accents. These women blocked the central part of the bus with their massive contraptions and their contents. Being ecologically minded, I guess that these women left their four wheel drive, they did not appear to give a shit for the other passengers - just cluttering up the space to which they are entitled. They were babbling at each other and the contents of the four wheel drive pushchairs, one woman pointing to the contents that "we are on a bus, this bus has an upstairs just like at home", I obviously deduced that she was broadcasting the fact to the rest of us plebs on the bus that they don't live in a council flat, housing estate or in rented accommodation!

Observations on a Bus

2007-07-24T21:49:00.001+01:00

I was sitting peacefully on a bus yesterday, I was in peaceful reverie until Mr Machismo boarded the bus. Mr Machismo stormed his way down the aisle nearly treading on my feet. If this berk could have made a public display of his bollocks he would have done. He was wearing a baseball cap to conceal his bald head. He sat down, quietly snorting like a bull in the last moments of a bullfight, next to an elderly passenger. I thought "what the fuck?". As the journey progessed, his elderly seat mate wanted to get off the bus, Mr Machismo made a flamboyant gesture, swinging around with his feet and his bag - his feet nearly treading on my toes and his bag nearly swinging into my face. Elderly passenger got off the bus, Mr Machism sat down on the outside of the two seats, thus taking up the "two for one option". Next stop, an elderly couple boarded the bus. In another flamboyant and theatrical gesture, he rose from his seat (I thought that he was going to offer the elderly couple the two seats which he and his bag were occupying)and told two boys to give up their seats to these "two old people" (I loved this use of his language here). The two boys obliged. Mr Machismo returned to his seats, occupying them as before, looking quite pleased with himself, obviously thinking what a swell guy he is and how much he loves he loves his parents who are "two old people".

A Diversion from the moans, grumps and groans

2007-07-24T21:18:00.001+01:00

I get a little fed up with moaning. I surf around Youtube to see what is around. Selected the keyword "Zen" - such a words distracts the mind to the state that really matters - nothing.

Then I came across these two clips which impressed me enough to include them here.

Here is a young musician playing a shamisen, and wow!

then we have some Shaolin monks demonstrating their fantastic art.

Yep, there is more to life than having moan, grump or groan

Housing Market Plummets Today!

2007-07-19T20:30:00.000+01:00

Another overheard phone call, there was this African lady on the bus remonstrating with her estate agent for marketing her house at too high a price. She was really annoyed, she said that there is a one bed room flat being sold in her area for £150 000. Her three bed house, it seems, is on the market for £280 000. No one will buy. After much haggling with the estate agent, they agreed a new price of £210 000! That's some reduction. It just goes to show that sellers find it difficult to exert any control over the house they want to sell.

Overheard Mobile Phone Conversation

2007-07-19T20:27:00.001+01:00

This young woman passing me by the bus stop, she was babbling away into her mobile, this is what she said

"He's evil. Not only did he cheat on me but gave me chlamydia as well..."

Nothing seems to be private these days.

New Labour banned by Net Authority.org

2007-07-18T23:14:00.000+01:00

I was listening to The Now Show on Listen Again and heard this little ditty that New Labour web site has been banned from Netauthority.org for the following reasons:

This website has been investigated by Net Authority, and has been found to be in violation of the Internet Acceptable Use Policy by posting the following kinds of content:

* Pornographic material
* Hateful material
* Blasphemy
* Offensive political material
* Bestiality and/or interracial relationships

Be cautioned! This website contains strongly offensive material and is not suitable for young children.

More info

http://www.netauthority.org/offenders/1661.shtml

2007-07-16T22:12:00.000+01:00

There was a great cartoon of political whizz kid, David Miliband, in today's Guardian. It was done by Martin Rowson - great likeness, great parody.

"Politics is Show Business for Ugly People"

2007-07-14T12:22:00.000+01:00

I was listening to Jenny Eclair's programme on LBC today, she was talking about David Miliband with one of her guests - this appeared to trigger off Jenny Eclair into quoting "Politics is show business for ugly people". Quite a neat remark

"I Ain't Got No Gas"

2007-07-07T08:17:00.000+01:00

I was on the bus the other day, there was this young woman around 17 - 18 (hair tied tightly back with a bright yellow ribbon and wearing the de-rigeur tracksuit) years she had baby in a pushchair with her. The young woman was remonstrating with her housing officer that she had just moved into her flat and that she had no gas.

"Yer, but I ain't got no gas...yer...what am I supposed for 'ot water...yer...I've got a six manf (month) old baybee what am I supposed wiv her?" It was as if the housing department had dumped the six manf old baybee on her.

The conversation continued

"Yer, but I've got a manf baybee [she said this repeatedly]...wot's an emersion 'eater?...no I don't know wot's an emersion 'eater..."

I felt like telling her, that this is not the housing department's responsibility, when she moves into a place she should contact the Gas Board - in all likelihood there will be no response from but this woman was clearly barking up the wrong tree.

Gordon Brown is now Leader

2007-06-24T23:02:00.000+01:00

To my complete and utter amazement Gordon Brown has been elected leader of New Labour. In his maiden speech he said that he would address issues such as health, education and affordable housing. Given that the definition of "affordable" has been hijacked by property developers to mean "You must be having a laugh if you think you can afford this".

It is heartening to know that there are thousands of people out there earning more money than the rest of us but paying only 10% tax. Alongside the pensions bombshell, this is another fine achievement by Gordon Brown.

Speaking of Can People...

2007-06-23T19:04:00.000+01:00

Speaking of Can People (see previous post), we have Lily Allen clutching a tin of cider at Glastonbury

Stop Rising Home Prices - Evict the Rich

2007-06-21T21:29:00.000+01:00

There are so many drinking schools around where I live, that the area has become Drinking Academy. You see people clutching tins of beer and strong cider. People in supermarkets buying a bottles of spirits. Then you have the wrecks who collapse anywhere in the street. As I was leaving for work in the morning, I saw what I thought to be a pile of clothes on the corner, as I got closer it was a man in a state of alcoholic catatonia clutching a beer can with another propped by his head to consume for breakfast. I guess that it is the norm around here, no doubt property developers and estate agents will disapprove and have the police move them on to somewhere else and make the place prohibitively expensive in which to live. I don't mind drunks, they keep out the rich.

Stop rising home prices, evict the rich!

Begging Ploy 252a

2007-06-19T23:08:00.000+01:00

I was subject to a new begging ploy today. Some bloke was on the bus, he had a tin cup in his hand and a placard slung round his neck - the placard announced that he was subject to various privations. He had a limp. He limped down the aisle of the bottom deck, thrusting his tin mug into the faces of stunned passengers - they obliged by thrusting coins into his mug. It was like been in church when the bag gets passed around, it was an epidemic of forced generosity. I have been in countries and have seen similar stuff. I thought there is no way I would oblige this bugger. He was coining it in. He thrust and rattled the tin mug in my face, I announced "skint", he rattled the mug now full of coins, I announced "skint" again, he did it again, I said the same again. He responded with an unhappy but knowing look. The bus came to his stop and he zoomed to the closing doors, I thought "fuck, he's quick". He get off the bus and started to limp again.

Baby buggies on Buses

2007-06-19T23:02:00.000+01:00

There has been a new development with parents and their small offspring - the parents shell out mucho spondooliks on these fucking mega-sized pushchairs, the size of which could easily fit a small hippopotamus, yet these idiots insist on loading these contraptions onto a crowded bus. Baby buggies are ok, they are small and light, but these new monsters seem to have been designed by idiots who are more minded to design armoured vehicles. Can't these idiots realise that small is beautiful.

Beer Can Men - 'Rip and Sip'

2007-06-12T22:02:00.000+01:00

When I go to work in the morning Beer Can Man is alive and kicking - 8:20 there are these guys sucking on beer cans and quite pissed with it. The party is over when the money runs out. I Googled "Beer Can Man" and shit there are numerous references to him even on You Tube, here is one sample - I love expression "Rip and Sip"

Paris Hilton - Checking in to the Sherrif's Hotel

2007-06-10T21:34:00.000+01:00

I have been following the Paris Hilton thingy with morbid interest. It's that kind of horrible interest where if one was around in biblical times you would want to see a stoning of an adulterer, usually the woman (according to the bible men don't usually adulterate). Yet, here we have a young woman who earns her money by having a good time. Nice little earner. It's a big irony that Ms Hilton did not want to check in as a guest to one of Sherrif's suites. I have heard that the food is not very good (no top of the art Frenchy doing the cooking) and her fellow guests are soooo...Well she did not like it...her family and lawyers bursting with bucks told the maitre-de-hotel that there was no room service and as for the en-suite facilities, this was bound to cause the fragile young girl some mental health problems - she could be on some powerful psychotropic drug for the rest of her life.

What I find extremely surprising is that Hilton's legal team asked the Sherrif for her to be discharged. Taking a calculated guess, it would seem that this is not the way to go about things. If a judge has made a sentence, then it is for another to judge, court or governing politician to decide whether the sentence is appropriate, not the Gaoler. Some lawyers, huh?. You know how weasly lawyers can be, but her firm should know better than go behind the back of the justice system to get their client released. That's worrying. Fortunately, justice prevailed and Paris is back in the Hotel. The judge sounded extremely pissed off and quite rightly.

Paris could have made a virtue of this, campaigning for prisoners' rights and penal reform - a worthy cause, showing that the young lady has some dignity, she could have wrote a book about her experience - but oh no, she wanted to her weasle her way out.

hilarious video youtube

I read the news today...

2007-06-03T21:21:00.000+01:00

These were the opening lines of "A Day in a Life", the Beatles much-hackneyed song from the Sgt Pepper album. I heard it again on Johnny Walker's radio programme. It then occurred to me how each verse, albeit surreal, sounded like a blog entry. Commentary on the news and then commentary on how someone got really smashed while smoking (a joint?) on the top deck of a bus "somebody spoke and I went into a dream" roll on the dreamy music. It registered that Lennon-MacCartney were making something akin to blog entries - the toying with the news and reflecting on the day's most salient points. With this in mind, I listened to the track again with fresh ears and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Economic Rumblings

2007-05-30T20:10:00.001+01:00

I was passing through Lavender Hill, Battersea SW11 on the bus today. I was amazed by the number of estate agents alive and kicking in the area. Every other shop was an estate agent, there was even a cluster of three different estate agents next to each other. This was unreal, this was mad. Has the local economy become so dependent on the buying and selling of its houses.

Is this the South Sea Bubble revisited. When this fucking blows, it will be an economic tsunami. Already the cracks are starting to appear. City gents are already starting to throw themselves out of buildings.

2007-05-30T20:10:00.000+01:00

Property Developers Pocket New Labour Politicos

2007-05-29T20:36:00.000+01:00

I was reading in Private Eye No. 1185 about the New Labour Deputy Leader Candidacy - it seems that there are number of private concerns bankrolling their campaigns. Here is the list quoted from said issue of Private Eye

Peter Hain gets £5000 from Terry Johnsey "millionaire property developer"

Alan Johnson gets £2500 from DMQA Holdings and another £2500 from another property developer, The Wykeland Group.

Hilary Benn got £10000 from REITS Asset Management.

Nest we have the Property Developers' Social Security Cheque Real Estate Investment Trusts.

So now you know

Channel 4 - Bread and (I cant believe...) Butter TV

2007-05-28T22:08:00.000+01:00

Don't you just love Channel 4! It produces mucho trash - Big Brother, Wife Swap, Property Programmes, Celebrity Human Chimps...

Now it has embarked on Car Crash TV, not with drunk drivers, joy riders or can't be arsed drivers on the motorway. Oh no, they want to show car crash tv with style and panache. It is going to show the demise of Princess Diana.

It has become oh so serious in defending the broadcast - it wants to debunk the conspiracy theories around her death by showing graphic but censored (of her face) images. How the fuck it is going to debunk conspiracy theories by showing graphic censored imagery?

Channel 4 has made us racially aware by Big Brother and has assisted and helped people with gambling on its tv quiz shows. It's done a fantastic public by delivering some fantastic and ground-breaking television. I am sure once the ground has been broken we may look forward to photos Jim Morrison (of The Doors) lying dead in his Paris Hotel bath; Hendrix in a pool of his own vomit and Marilyn Monroe lying dead on her bed.

Channel 4 knows it market - those people who cause hold-ups on a motorway who want to look at the road pizzas in the adjacent carriageway.

More news about greedy property developers

2007-05-26T12:28:00.001+01:00

I see that the rampage of Property Developers is happening up and down the country. Now they plan to rob pensioners of their bowling green in Hales, Norfolk by wanting to build a stunning new development of bungalows on the site. Is there no stopping the greedy wretches. The bowl players, however, have come up with a cunning plan.

Any Questions - BBC Radio 4

2007-05-19T18:21:00.001+01:00

I listened to Radio 4's Any Questions today. Some of the items under discussion were most notable, in particular, Michael Meacher's analysis of how the Left has deserted the Labour Party because of blatant Tory Policies. He pointed out that because there is no Left in the Labour Party we will continue to get the same old shit.

Another notable aspect of the programme was twelve year old Sayeeda Warsi, Vice Chair of the Tories, she was notable for arriving late. She was also notable for her screeching, squawking and constant interruptions. Michael Meacher was attempting explain a few points and he was met with her constant hectoring and screaming, she did not need a megaphone, her loud mouth clearly fulfilled this function. Yep, this is what really belies the cuddly Tory image.

Room at the Top - re The Current Politics

2007-05-18T22:24:00.000+01:00

Some commentaries remain timeless and classic. I was flipping some old notes which I have made from books which I have read. There were several quotes from John Braine's Room at the Top which appealed to me.

This could easily be applied to Blairism and the Primrose Hill Gang a la Miliband and James Purnell and Andy Burnham, likewise David Cameron and George (aka Gideon) Osborne of the Tories - the new of Designer Politicians.

"Whatever the suggestions were, Heylake would listen to them. He was a great improvement on the efficient zombie. Even now, I don't like to remember the efficient zombie. He had a large head with short-oiled hair and an absolutely immobile face. It was not even dignified or stony, it was dead, he seemed to take out the oxygen out of the air around him"

Check this out on charm - can easily be applied to politicians re: the above.

"The possession of charm wasn't in itself a guarentee of success but it seems to follow our bits like a pilot fish"

Jonathan Meades Abroad

2007-05-16T20:09:00.000+01:00

There have been posts when I have derided how trashy television has become, then we have Jonathan Meades with a new series of Jonathan Meades abroad. My faith in good broadcast television , for that matter BBC2, is slightly restored. Meades' television is extraordinary - factual, entertaining, ascerbic, quirky - he writes with a highly loaded pen - his targets are those everyday things that you love to hate, but have never had thought processes to articulate your scorn. His targets tonight were those buildings and environments that are being subject to regeneration. The advent of this, he points out, came with the arrival of Tony Blair and "Social Thatcherism"

In one scene, he goes into a luxury apartment and describes that such apartment blocks are "Housing Market renewal pathfinders" and that they provide "A lifestyle solution". The modern luxury apartment "...is a product of design culture; it draws bar culture, restaurant culture, retail culture, gallery culture, museum culture, culture culture" This voiceover is made over a scene where he goes around the luxury apartment feigning horror at all the design trinkets and tut which litter the flat. It's not just design culture, it's M & S design culture.

Git in a Ferrari

2007-05-14T19:54:00.000+01:00

I was on the A40 Westway yesterday, there was this huge vibration under my car, I thought there was something wrong with the engine - then I look beside me and saw this fucking grey Ferrari switching on to turbo and zooming the two hundred yards towards the car in front. I thought "Fuck there goes two hundred thousand nicker in engine and bodywork" - the bugger behind the wheel, managed to brake on time. Ferraris are lovely car, I wish I could own one. In the city, however, you have to treat them with a great deal of respect and this arsehole behind its wheel clearly wanted to redesign the most precious vehicle. The bugger was clearly showing off - he was narcissistic as if to say "all you sad gits in your Vauxhall Chevettes, look at the size of my dick! Vroooooom!" You really do not need to advertise the fact that you own a Ferarri, just driving one is enough.

Tate Modern, Where Modern Art becomes Cheese

2007-05-12T19:51:00.000+01:00

I was reading this article in The Times about the Tate Modern. I never liked Tate Modern, I could not put my finger on why. Then I saw this photo in The Times - it had New Model Parents wearing sunflower head-dresses along with their sprogs - they were playing an enlarged board game. I guess it was designed to help their sprogs learn about art. There is this ironic notion that we are culturally starved and therefore we should turn art into a form of junk-food in order to stave off our hunger for it - dumbing down. Children and families have been starved of modern art and therefore Tate Modern has been turned into a Theme Park for Modern Art. This is no great shakes but when you consider a programme like Robert Hughes' Shock of the New that was dedicated to many of the genres on display at Tate Modern, you think that this literal toying around with the said exhibits loses their shock value - they become not so much tame but resigned like circus animals - packaged as flat-pack art, mugs, t-shirts etc.

There was a time when you could go to places for grown-ups, you found only grown-ups and you felt at home, away from the Hell that is Bratdom and its consequent consort of parentdom; there is an insistence in this country to turn every single place and adult sanctuary over to the tyranny of Family Friendly and you know what that means - intolerable brats with their intolerable parents. Cheese Pleeze.

Blair - 'I Quit'

2007-05-10T21:16:00.000+01:00

The BBC was rather toady today - they had that dreadful celebrity cum news presenter Huw Edwards presenting Blair's resignation speech. I noted that Blair did not give his speech outside Downing Street but in his constituency Labour Club and given the rapturous greetings, rapturous applause - the placards declaring their love for Tony and Cherie - I had the feeling that the speech was delivered in front of a specially invited and staged audience.

The outgoing Prime Minister reviewed his tenure - declared all the successes - improvements in health and education along with reductions in crime. This has not really been the case, but I guess that the man wants to give himself some credit. Iraq - he said was a part of the ongoing war against terrorism. Until US / UK invasion of Iraq there was no terrorism in Iraq - but I guess that has become a rod that Blair and Bush have made for all our backs - they don't have to worry - they will not have to be around for much longer to clear up the mess.

There were a number of things that Blair precluded from his speech - why did he not mention the outstanding success of the Public Finance Initiative and why did he not mention the success of the property market making housing affordable for everyone.

A Fully Booked-up Life

2007-05-09T22:58:00.000+01:00

I was on a bus journey through London's West End a few days ago. This woman sat opposite me on the back seats, she was babbling into a mobile. Middle class accent, well heeled; she should have been driving around in a Porsche rather than having to cope with the indignity of travelling on a smelly London bus*. I guess she must have been disqualified from driving hence her reduced circumstances in transportation. The babble was the usual public exposure of private life, names of friends, what they did last friday; with whom she intends to have to suppernext Saturday; Jocelyn getting quite legless on Sunday night and attempting to paw at her...Then came the discussion about when she should meet up with the person with whom she was speaking "No, can't do next Saturday, attending a wedding...can't do that either...no, no...no...fully booked in June; as for July, I am going on my hols. August, now let's see..." This was getting excruciatingly tedious and I felt like saying to her "Why the fuck don't you tell that person that you can't meet up until 2035 but that you can still keep in contact on the mobile". This woman's life was so fully booked that it caused me to wonder whether she had any life at all. This phone call was intrusive, it ruined my concentration for the book that I was reading. Maybe I was too polite by not saying anything. Maybe the etiquette is such that we have allowed people to babble on ad-nauseum into mobile phones - the die has been cast in that regard. Can anyone suggest from where I can get a mobile phone zapper?

Magazines - The Class Divide

2007-05-08T21:28:00.000+01:00

I had to attend an out-patient appointment today. There were quite a few magazines lying around. The choice was varied - Sunday supplements, lifestyle mags, true stories and celebrity mags. What struck me was the class divide between the mags. The lifestyle and supplement mags were clearly geared towards the middle-class nest builders - all of which insisted on force feeding crap and more crap to the already bloated middle stratum of society. The photos looked very cosy, nice clean photographs of nice clean and healthy people (the ethnicity of which is invariably white) - the couples look happy and look as if they are about to go on holiday to Barbados. Then you have the products, face creams made from the mud of the Borneo jungle, the bollocks of rare goats steeped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar, furniture made from one of the last surviving rain forests in South America...

Then we come to the magazines aimed at the working class - the true stories - grainy and out of focus home produced photos - the highly graphic stories were invariably tragic - wife beaters nearly beating women to death with pokers and pick axe handles; wives poisoning their husband; children being physically and sexually abused - these mags were selling stories of the front line of working class tragedy. None of the middle class angst that one finds in middle-class childless couples. These true-life stories made rather painful reading. Has the working class really become this pit of depravity!

Then we have the Celebrity Mags, obviously directed towards the working class - celebs in expensive homes - it is as if they are not making any suggestion of aspiration, more like to say "look at what we have got, you pathetic plebs"

Whoever says that we live in a classless society needs to have his / her head testing.